BPDSD21 just added her uncle, my S/O's brother to her facebook page.
I've only met this uncle once and the event of meeting him was prefaced with us traveling to his hometown during Thanksgiving, renting a condo with our (S/O and me) respective daughters, invited uncle, week in advance to Thanksgiving dinner and he was a no show, no call. A few days later we met him at a diner on our way out of town.
S/O has always described him as "weird" and although at this brief meeting I could see some aspbergerishness he was a pleasant fellow, obviously intelligent with a quirky sense of humor. I had taken the no show in stride (never met him, dinner was happening as planned, no issues on my part) and S/O seemed to take this disappointment in stride, even mentioned it was not totally unexpected.
So, now I know of his facebook and within two seconds of looking at it, I had my first aha moment. I see many of the same behaviors from uncle as I see in my SD... . the same impulsiveness, disordered thinking, over sharing, naccissism, strong attachments to friends and so much inappropriate stuff for a man in his 50s.
He seems an eternal child.
A bit of history... . he lived with his and S/0s mom until her death, inherited the house and lost it about eight years later (it was paid for when the Mother was alive, so he had no mortgage but he took out a second mortgage that he failed to repay.)
He spent his twenties and thirties persuing novelty professions- magician, clown, actor etc. He married once in his earlier years but quickly divorced. Has had sort of over-involved relationships with much older women, his landlords in both cases. Is currenly involved in one of these relationships.
Now he is working a job that is certainly not much to challenge his obvious intelligence. He reports that his co-workers are close friends. I have no way of knowing if this is accurate or not but the language he uses makes me think these people aren't neccessarily all that "into him".
There is a ton a sexual stuff on his facebook... . so much that I am uncomfortable looking at it and don't know why he would add his niece as a friend with so many sexual memes and links to semi-porn.
I have been very curious about the genetic component for SD's mental illness. There are problem with addiction on both sides of her FOO, and now I see some similarities to her uncle.
Feel sort of like I've had on some blinders... . the uncle's no show at Thanksgiving should have raised at least one of my brows!
\= does anyone else sometimes feel like they see personality disorders around every corner?
Before S/Os accident we were planning another trip to see the brother and we lose our deposit if we don't go. Even though s/o is limited in his mobility, we are still going, need the change of scenery, S/O has been really down (understandably) about his injury and his recovery and I'm worn out but there is a hot tub in the condo! It will be interesting to see how this unfolds with the brother.
So it goes.
Thursday
