Stalking and police

[Depression = 72% of members]

On May 6th and May7th, uBPDexgf began stalking me at my place of work, where we both work (long story... . ). First incident, was loitering outside the building, staring at me for about two minutes. The second incident was attending a private meeting I organized with a couple of work colleagues in a separate part of the institution where I work. (I can't explain this for anonymity reasons, but it is quite separate and she knows not to be there)

On May 7th, I wrote an email to uBPDexgf asking her not to do this, as it was painful, and to keep to what we'd agreed: no contact.

She replies with a written letter full of defamatory allegations and a police complaint against me! I have been visited by a police officer (at my place of work) had to sign a statement with a warning about "harassment"!

So, I was stalked for two days. I asked her to stop. Then she made a complaint to the police. I think this episode may blow over, as I have a lot of evidence in form of emails, text messages, etc., about her previous actions, which include stalking and harassment.

[Katsky]

On May 6th and May7th, uBPDexgf began stalking me at my place of work, where we both work (long story... . ). First incident, was loitering outside the building, staring at me for about two minutes. The second incident was attending a private meeting I organized with a couple of work colleagues in a separate part of the institution where I work. (I can't explain this for anonymity reasons, but it is quite separate and she knows not to be there)

On May 7th, I wrote an email to uBPDexgf asking her not to do this, as it was painful, and to keep to what we'd agreed: no contact.

She replies with a written letter full of defamatory allegations and a police complaint against me! I have been visited by a police officer (at my place of work) had to sign a statement with a warning about "harassment"!

So, I was stalked for two days. I asked her to stop. Then she made a complaint to the police. I think this episode may blow over, as I have a lot of evidence in form of emails, text messages, etc., about her previous actions, which include stalking and harassment.

[Take2]

I work with my on/off uBPD-bf and he has stalked me multiple times.  And he used to claim how his ex would stalk him,  which she did.  Bit clearly he does stalking also

But if I make light of his own crazy stalking of me,  he acts so offended,  like he has been so abused by the behavior... . its enough to drive someone crazy... .

[cska]

Katsky,

I know what you're going through. My BPD gf, stalked me, attacked me in a parking lot, and when people would pass by, she would yell at the top of her lungs "Stop following me, leave me alone."

Have you thought about getting a restraining order?

Hang in there!

[Murbay]

katsky, I understand how scary this can be for you and no doubt having the police involved makes things a little more tense. A couple of things you have to remember, you have evidence to back things up, you haven't done anything wrong and finally, she is far more likely to wind up in trouble than you are.

What I might suggest is that if you both work at the same place, if there is someone in overall charge, that you request a meeting with them and explain the circumstances. That way, should allegations start arising at work, they have a complete picture of what is going on.

My ex made false allegations against me a few weeks ago and I'm not even in the same country. Right now, she is trying to play games to get me to bite but I'm not allowing it. Anything and everything is being documented and I also have a therapist on side too.

It's funny because when I first met her, she was in the middle of taking 2 colleagues and her boss to a tribunal for harassment. I stood by her at the time, thinking what horrible people these were and was shocked at what they had done to her. The case was dismissed and she blamed it on the system discriminating against her. Knowing what I do now about her, I would be very surprised if anything untoward happened.

However, it's important to keep in mind, document everything and try cut out any possible ways she has of being able to contact you. Also, another suggestion might be to read "Splitting" by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger. It's primary focus is on divorce from BPD's and NPD's but the book has a lot to do with high conflict and blamers within court, so it could contain some useful information if she continues to persist.

[Katsky]

Thanks, Murbay and cska - your episodes sound bad, so wish you luck.

This event has blown over to some extent. Fortunately, I have a huge amount of documentation - about 570 emails, records of texts, letters, countless other things, plus various witnesses - which can prove her record of years of abuse and harassment, which include making countless suicide threats over a period of three years to blackmail me into helping her (with her work: I did, and she did extremely well because of it), and her assaulting me a couple of years ago (the police were called by neighbours; again, fortunately, I have a witness, my flatmate, who banned her from the flat) and a suicide threat by text message that lasted for hours (I  spent hours trying to talk to her and locate her), until eventually I called the police.

The uBPDexgf wrecked pretty much everything in my life, for five years, and it's annoying and disturbing to have been "warned" when this person -- someone with a long record of harassment, even documented by the police -- has initiated the harassment/stalking and has been asked to stop, but ignored it. But I do have records of all of this, and showed it to the police officer who visited me; he was very sympathetic. Using his common sense, he could see what had happened, and I showed him proof of her background of crazy-making, suicide threats, verbal abuse, & violence, and mentioned the two previous recorded police incidents involving her.

But he still had to do what he'd been told: in the UK if a complaint is made, then the police have to do this, as a notification.

I have two places of work. Two people in management at one of them have been informed, shown the documentation, and have been very helpful. I now have to inform the person who is, in effect, my boss at the other place of work, and explain what has happened.

The whole thing is pretty alarming, but fortunately, I have so much documented evidence concerning her behaviour that she can't really succeed in causing more trouble without making a fool of herself (or worse, because making vexatious allegations are a serious disciplinary matter).

Thanks again!