Been Sitting on This

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I have been heeling up pretty well at 8 month NC. Every once in a while something pops up that recalls memories. Today is one of those days.

Her house just sold - she had abandoned it (and me) to move back in with her hubi in a city 3 hrs away. Her realtor found someone to rent her house to avoid foreclosure.

What came back to me today is what I truly believe to have been her "plan". She is a queen/witch type of a BPD. Other people saw her a very manipulating, controlling, self centred, delusional and devious - I didn't want to.

A little background: she talked about poly amorous relationships occasionally - how she thought they were cool. Once she told me her definition of marriage was "two OR MORE people in a relationship". That freaked me out. We talked about marriage - she knew I wanted to marry her - but she "played" around with the subject.

Once we were in a toy store and there was a topy that you were to asha question to and then press a button to get an answer. She asked it "Should I marry me" It answered yes! The next day I said that made my heart skip a beat. She replied "I was just kidding around" My heart stopped - how could she be so flippant about such a serious subject.

She was always talking about how the town we lived in wasn't good enough (meeting her intellectual and culture needs). The next minute she would say how she hated the big city and loved the simple life of a small town.

She couldn't keep up with her mortgage and was trying to get me to sell my house and buy hers. I was rescuing her by paying both our mortgages but stopped when I simply could not afford it. She really turned up the heat for me to sell mine and buy hers (everything was wrong with mine - hers was wonderful. I balked - I didn't trust her - I was sure she would eventually leave and I would be stuck with her crappy little house filled with painful memories. That's when the devaluation kicked in.

Here is what I think she was working towards. She wanted the best of both worlds - two devoted men, one in the country and one in the city. She could alternated between the two worlds when it fit her mood. That might sound "conspiratorial" or paranoid on my part but that what my gut tells me she was up to.

Man did I sidestep a mess. Glad she's gone for good. Her hubi can deal with her insanity now (poor ass).

Feels good to spit that fur ball out. Time to get back to living MY life.

[nolisan]

I have been heeling up pretty well at 8 month NC. Every once in a while something pops up that recalls memories. Today is one of those days.

Her house just sold - she had abandoned it (and me) to move back in with her hubi in a city 3 hrs away. Her realtor found someone to rent her house to avoid foreclosure.

What came back to me today is what I truly believe to have been her "plan". She is a queen/witch type of a BPD. Other people saw her a very manipulating, controlling, self centred, delusional and devious - I didn't want to.

A little background: she talked about poly amorous relationships occasionally - how she thought they were cool. Once she told me her definition of marriage was "two OR MORE people in a relationship". That freaked me out. We talked about marriage - she knew I wanted to marry her - but she "played" around with the subject.

Once we were in a toy store and there was a topy that you were to asha question to and then press a button to get an answer. She asked it "Should I marry me" It answered yes! The next day I said that made my heart skip a beat. She replied "I was just kidding around" My heart stopped - how could she be so flippant about such a serious subject.

She was always talking about how the town we lived in wasn't good enough (meeting her intellectual and culture needs). The next minute she would say how she hated the big city and loved the simple life of a small town.

She couldn't keep up with her mortgage and was trying to get me to sell my house and buy hers. I was rescuing her by paying both our mortgages but stopped when I simply could not afford it. She really turned up the heat for me to sell mine and buy hers (everything was wrong with mine - hers was wonderful. I balked - I didn't trust her - I was sure she would eventually leave and I would be stuck with her crappy little house filled with painful memories. That's when the devaluation kicked in.

Here is what I think she was working towards. She wanted the best of both worlds - two devoted men, one in the country and one in the city. She could alternated between the two worlds when it fit her mood. That might sound "conspiratorial" or paranoid on my part but that what my gut tells me she was up to.

Man did I sidestep a mess. Glad she's gone for good. Her hubi can deal with her insanity now (poor ass).

Feels good to spit that fur ball out. Time to get back to living MY life.

[Validation78]

Hey Nolisan!

Good for you, for listening to your gut instincts! Our inner voices speak to us all the time, we just have to trust them, and know that they don't ever lead us down the wrong paths! We should all be that wise!

Best Wishes,

Val78