Being a free spirit - drawbacks?

[Want2know]

Most dictionary definitions equate being a 'free spirit' with nonconformity.  One definition of being a nonconformist is: a person who does not conform to a generally accepted pattern of thought or action.

I find that somewhat amusing, as I have been called a free spirit by many people over my life time.  What's funny about it is my jobs, over the course of 20+ years, have all been in pretty conservative institutions with tons of procedures, protocols and strict guidelines.  Somehow I thrive in these places, which is a bit odd.

I've been thinking about what being a free spirit truly means.  To some, being a free spirit could sound like a 'good' thing, but I do believe there are some drawbacks.

Here is what I found on a blog that I thought was interesting:

   

• A free spirit thinks for himself, observing and collecting data in order to form his own opinions.



• A free spirit does what she thinks is right, not what everyone else tells her is right.  She puts a high value on free choice.



• A free spirit cares about getting to know both himself and the world around him.



• A free spirit isn’t generally swayed by arguments of what one is “supposed” to do.  She tends to avoid, ignore, or become upset by people who are judgmental or controlling.



• A free spirit has the courage to test life’s boundaries and limits, and to try things that other people think are impossible, unimportant, or impractical.



• A free spirit often has her own unique vision of life and the world.

This brings me to my questions that I don't quite have the answers to yet, and am curious what others think: 

What bearing does being a free spirit have on creating/maintaining healthy boundaries and the following of a moral code?

[darkstar]

Hi Want2know  ,

i think we are kind in the same boat. Free Spirit for me means that all things have 2 sides or even 200. Sometimes I think its a gift,  sometimes its a heavy weight and curse.

Being to open-minded makes it hard in my opinion to set clear boundary's. My two exBPD teach me a lot, primary that sometimes we just have to think in black and white, and leave the gray or middle ground.

I think its not so important that we know all the time what we want, because I really don't know very often, but knowing what we don't want is key here I think to set boundary's and be no "food" for potential abuse anymore. 

Are you an Air Sign by the way... . ? I am not so much a big believer of Astrology but hey, after an EX who decided with a Tarot  to stay with me or not I am a bit into it now

Good topic, for me it's still a good thing somehow... . even not very popular because our World we live in is ruled by control, generated fear, leaders and followers. Not so much space for free thinking in our every day live... .

[123Phoebe]

Hey, Want2know

What bearing does being a free spirit have on creating/maintaining healthy boundaries and the following of a moral code?

The first thought and word that came to mind was 'balance'.  Then 'respect' popped up, too.

So, going with that train of thought... .

Being a free spirit doesn't mean that one can't conform or thrive in a structured environment, it's having the ability and desire to look and see, feel, taste, smell, touch and hear beyond the walls of said environment, out and onto/into something that makes even more sense to the free spirit... .   And that 'said environment' is also the space between the ears, not always an outside institution

Always learning, willing to take things in, even if they don't seem to make much sense at first glace.  It's the fact that it doesn't seem to make much sense that piques the interest of the Free Spirit... .   That alone could drive Conformist-types crazy.  Could this be a drawback?  I guess depending on if they're the ones that hand over the paycheck

A free spirit, I think, understands this, as through living life as an experience in and of itself, has happened upon all kinds of different people and circumstances, different attitudes and firmly held beliefs... .   Having respect for other's situations and circumstances while being able to balance new information and stimuli with old held beliefs; thereby forming their own opinions and thinking for themselves... .   Upholding their own morals and boundaries.  Not expecting others to hang onto the same beliefs.

I think of eyes and ears as being portholes that allow essence and nuance in, without flooding out individuality.  Live and let live while understanding we're all connected by being human, different as night and day though.

Is being a free spirit the same as being a free thinker?  Sign me up if that's the case!

 

[Want2know]

You know, you made a good point... . the positions I've always held in these jobs were analytical ones.  Ones where I got to analyze data, the procedures, etc. and offer up summaries that make sense or make changes that were more logical.  Interesting... . thanks!

Are you an Air Sign by the way... . ? I am not so much a big believer of Astrology but hey, after an EX who decided with a Tarot  to stay with me or not I am a bit into it now

I'm a Scorpio - water sign. 

As for creating boundaries, yes, there is a bit of what is it that you don't want, and go from there.  I think I'm ok with that on some levels, and not on others.  Still working through it... .

[Cumulus]

I think to be a free spirit you would need to be considered at least a bit eccentric. And I am drawn to that kind of eccentric personality type. I find them artistic, creative, amusing, introspective kinds of people. People who venture off the visible path. Here's my but, but pw BPD can also appear eccentric, they just don't have the healthy qualities that are seen in those we think of as being free spirits. Again the importance of taking the time to know someone before becoming invested in them.

[Want2know]

I have to say that after I typed out and re-read the list in my original post, it sounded quite narcissistic. 

Going back to Phoebe's mention of balance, this bullet in the list seemed to balance the other items out a bit

'A free spirit cares about getting to know both himself and the world around him'

Someone who is either narcissistic (or BPD, as in the case you mention), would not aspire to getting to know themselves or the world around them in an objective way.  They would mold it to what serves them best, in the moment.  More impulsive, rather than building it into a construct that shapes into something that is closer to the 'truth'.

I was in a yoga class yesterday and the instructor was talking about an interesting, yet simple, concept as we were holding some of the more difficult poses for what seemed like hours.    She was describing how a flower or a tree does not hold back their beauty just because no one is there to see it or care that they are not thanked for creating oxygen.  All these emotions and predispositions we have regarding ourselves and our surroundings can cloud being objective and living a 'free' fulfilling life.

[catsprt]

Great thread - I have nothing to add at this point.

[Cumulus]

Hi want2know, I reread your original post, I don't see it as being narcissistic at all. What made you think that?

[Want2know]

Hi want2know, I reread your original post, I don't see it as being narcissistic at all. What made you think that?

It could come across as 'self-centered' thinking if you were viewing it with narcissism in mind.  The key to it being less self-centered is that you are using your mind objectively, backing it up with a healthy sense of logic - keeping an open mind.  That's why I wanted to address, or add the term 'objective' in there, as that may take away from the idea of those bullet points seeming self-centered, in an unhealthy way.  We all have some form of narcissistic tendencies, however, there is healthy narcissism and unhealthy, including to what extreme you have these views.  I hope that makes sense.

I took a look at 'free thinkers' or free thought out there on the internet.  A lot of historical information on the free thinking 'movement'.  I do believe these terms are somewhat interchangeable. 

'Freethought is a philosophical viewpoint that holds opinions should be formed on the basis of logic, reason, and empiricism, rather than authority, tradition, or other dogmas.'

Sounds pretty similar.