Meeting with a new attorney tomorrow? Not sure if I should?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Basically I've gotten in touch with another attorney who is very reasonable.

For those of you unfamiliar, my ex is not following our parenting plan.

So, the new attorney advised that I DO NOT call the cops when he withholds the child.

He wants me to pay 250 for him to show me how to file contempt of court tomorrow.

So if I file contempt of court- this allows me reason to modify the parenting plan in mediation.

Does anyone here have any idea on how long a contempt of court takes once filed?

and should I follow this guys advise and even show up tomorrow?

[motherof1yearold]

Basically I've gotten in touch with another attorney who is very reasonable.

For those of you unfamiliar, my ex is not following our parenting plan.

So, the new attorney advised that I DO NOT call the cops when he withholds the child.

He wants me to pay 250 for him to show me how to file contempt of court tomorrow.

So if I file contempt of court- this allows me reason to modify the parenting plan in mediation.

Does anyone here have any idea on how long a contempt of court takes once filed?

and should I follow this guys advise and even show up tomorrow?

[ForeverDad]

I can't say... . in my area Contempt cases seemed to have a wait time of several weeks, at least a month, unless maybe there was some sort of priority?  Throw in a continuance and it could take longer.

The lawyer seems to have a strategy?  Not sure why he doesn't want you to get the police involved, we usually do that for documentation.  However as I recall your local police don't know how to write reports or follow through on impaired driving instances.

Does new L want you to file quickly when it's your time but ex withheld the child?  Maybe L thinks it sounds better and more urgent for your complaint to say, "Ex withheld my child and now my child is elsewhere and it's my time" rather than "I called the police and they had to enforce/pressure ex to do the exchange"?

[motherof1yearold]

Yes FD, he was very adamant about me not calling the police. He told me that was the worse thing I can do.

But what bothers me, is (like you said) It could take weeks, or months for this to go through. And in the mean time , I will be missing my parenting time.

What exactly is a continuance?

and what would qualify as  a priority? (It's definitely a priority for me to see my child as I rightfully should!)

[livednlearned]

Can you ask him why?

The parenting coordinator involved in my case told n/BPDx that involving law enforcement has a detrimental effect on the child, and to avoid it if at all possible.

Maybe this L is thinking about bringing in law enforcement in ways that are detrimental to the child?

[ForeverDad]

I think only your lawyer can explain WHY he said what he said.  We can guess, but can't be authoritative.  It would be interesting to know why his way or strategy is better than the one we previously suggested.  Perhaps he already knows the police will do nothing?  However there must be "method to his madness".   Curious too why your previous lawyer never provided any guidance of this sort... . perhaps you & your case were set aside since your situation was too much hassle?  Really, it's not wise to compare apples to oranges, maybe new L saw that old L's methods didn't help and saw a need to approach it differently.

A continuance is just a fancy way to say change of the scheduled hearing date.  For example, I filed a Modification of Parenting Time over a year ago.  Twice my ex's lawyer has asked for a continuance, the most recent one granted was earlier this month.  My lawyer had originally said MPTs were simple compared to my prior custody-related motion.  I'm sure even he didn't imagine it would be taking at least 14 months and probably longer.  (I heard ex say she would appeal any unfavorable outcome to the highest court.  )  Yikes, 14 months is getting close to $10K extra for her where I'm still paying ex child support even though I have custody, yep, not only is she getting rewarded for the delays, I'm sure it's paying her lawyer too.

[motherof1yearold]

I'm definitely going to call and clarify some things before I dish out half of my paycheck to this guy.

[ForeverDad]

So, the new attorney advised that I DO NOT call the cops when he withholds the child.

He wants me to pay 250 for him to show me how to file contempt of court tomorrow.

So if I file contempt of court- this allows me reason to modify the parenting plan in mediation.

Frankly, $250 is dirt cheap.  Cheaper than cheap.  That may only be for the Contempt motion since he's figuring it will go to mediation which is of minimal cost and could get fixed there?  Find out what that payment covers.  When you speak with L try to make an outline of his strategy so you don't ask the same questions next time.

His different approach may work in your area.  Your prior lawyer may have been good but was somewhat ineffective in the face of ex's carpet-bombing maneuvers.

[motherof1yearold]

It is cheap. Altogether he is 1/3rd the price of my previous attorney.

To be clear, I am not retaining him, since I don't have the money. But he decided that I could give him 250 for him to file contempt of court and give me the paperwork for future motions (I guess)

[ForeverDad]

What you need is a strategy.  Make sure you get an outline of what you need to do.  Make sure you understand it.  Step 1 or Steps 1 & 2 is not enough.

By the way, I looked up my case online.  My ex's attorney in the course of less than a year has racked up FOUR motions for continuance, the last one just last week.  So now it will be nearly 15 months from motion filing to next hearing dates, yes, that's right, we have TWO days reserved for this supposedly simple matter.  The first two the magistrate said No and I believe they proceeded in telephone conferences.  Naturally, PD tactic delay helps ex since she keeps getting child support while the case languishes in the slowed court process.

[motherof1yearold]

I'm still not even convinced this lawyer will be any match for ex's dishonest, vicious lawyer. I need to go lawyer shopping. I have really limited options where I live (and with the money situation) So I may have to take what I can get.

[momtara]

There are emergency motions that can be filed... . but this may not be taken to be an emergency.  You know, maybe there is a person in your court who can give you ideas about this?  Someone who deals with custody cases and mediation who works in the court system and not privately?  Just a thought.

Does this lawyer sound scrupulous?  Who will be the one to follow up once this gets into court?  Court is usually expensive.  Maybe he is doing this for you now so that you will retain him to actually fight in court? 

[motherof1yearold]

momtara,you're probably right about that. Interesting, since he did mention his retainer fee. (which I can't afford)

[momtara]

Well, once you file this, you will need someone to help you fight it, and you may get a court date soon (or maybe not) definitely have consultations with a few until you feel comfortable with one.  I know that it's hard to tell who will do a good job.  A good one will understand your money situation and still be willing to fight for what's right.

[frustrated b/f]

all you're doing right now is establishing a pattern and a paper trail. You do not need an expensive attorney for this process.

[motherof1yearold]

Documentation is always key.