Hi to all, havne't been here in quite awhile

[somuchlove]

   Hello,  I feel guilty that I have not been her for a long time.  Things have been going good/ some bad.  It seems that even though things for the most part have been good I continue to wait for the next bomb to drop.  do we ever get over that?  Probably not because there will always be something.  My dd left her bf/father of her youngest and has moved much much closer to us.  We are now only good drive to see grand children.  YEA !  no more plane trips.  I can just jump in the car and go.  That is a nice thing.  She is also closer to her siblings so she is rebuilding her much needed relationship with one of them and now can spend time with her and the kids.  BPD dd is so much happier, lots better without the issues that occured with bf and his starting to do drugs and his other kids issues.  She also much happier living where she is.  I am finding that dd is able to relax , put things in much better prospective and she and the kids are doing very well.  She is now dealing with the father of her other kids, which is a whole nother story.  He is really off the wall with most things.  She is keeping records of all the "nothings" he is doing to help financially and physically watching the kids.  Hopefully she will be able to gain decision making custody of the kids one day and that will be a big thing. 

She still over reacts to things, ex: assumes if I answer the phone in a certain way that I don't want to talk to her, etc etc... .but none of the crazy crazy things we use to see.  However, I know that their will be issues.  She and her dad are talking much much better, they laugh together about the kids,  he has helped her make some decisions about car and stuff.  That is so good for me to hear and nice to have him deal with things.  We are working more together in dealing with her issues.  Much relief for me.  sometimes I have to remind myself to continue to talk to her they way I have worked so hard to learn (BPD) as she will definitly catch me if I don't. 

right now we are hoping that perhaps with this move, less stress somewhat we will see her continue to hold things together.  I still wish she would get some counseling... .  I know that her issues aren't gone and BPD will come out.  I don't know. 

Hope to read and contribute on this site in the next few weeks.  I think of everyone here and hope that everyone feels the support that I have gotten. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[qcarolr]

somuchlove - it is always a joy for me to see you have posted. I think of you and your family often. Isn't it great when the dad steps up in his love. My dh shows it in such different ways, sometimes I miss noticing it.

The most important thing I have learned/experienced during this really rough year is how much we need each other to sincerely care. Gathering my local support network plus my friends here has helped everyone come toward a more balanced place. And when one of us slips, it is easier to realign.

It sounds like this is working for your D and her kids. To be connected with family, including her sis and kids. Normalizes life in many ways. Will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. You have the tools, know the skills, and have the support you need to use them wisely when needed.

Thanks for updating.

qcr

[peaceplease]

somuchlove,


  I am so happy to hear that your dd is just a drive away.  You must be overjoyed to have your grandchildren are closer.  It seems that your dd has more support being closer to her siblings.  I bet that takes some stress off of you. 

I look forward o reading your posts again.


peaceplease

[lbjnltx]

Dear somuchlove,

It is so good to hear that the situation has finally improved.  You have learned much and have the love and desire to use what you have learned to continue on a positive path with your daughter.

We are here to support you in the rough times and celebrate with you in the good times.

Keep us posted~

lbjnltx