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Author Topic: What should I say to things like this  (Read 530 times)
Cloudy Days
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1095



« on: November 19, 2013, 11:10:39 AM »

I am getting so frustrated with my husband. Not only did we have a wonderful day yesterday, It was one of the better days of our relationship. I guess that was too much to handle for my husband. Why are good days triggering to them? Anyways, this morning actually started out pretty good but then minutes before I am to leave for work my husband out of the blue says. I keep thinking of something your mother said. Where was it that you two went when she came back and said "the black guys really like her" referring to me. Now I have no memory of this happening, I really doubt that it did happen, but he seems to think it did. My response was I don't remember my mom ever saying anything like that. Of course that response to him means I am lying about it. He started going on an on about how I am cheating on him and he knows it. Because he remembers this happening and I must have been around men for her to say something like this. He doesn't trust anyone and seems to think my mom is scheming against him to take me away from him. Eventually I did validate his feelings about it, but he was still calling me a liar. So basically he's made something up and is calling me a liar because I don't remember his make believe memory. It felt to me like an unavoidable trap and I fell right into it. What drives me the most insane is that we were getting along great minutes before this.
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allibaba
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« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2013, 02:07:17 PM »

Sorry

My philosophy is to state my truth, validate and then move on.  "Hubby, I love you.  I don't remember my mom saying that.  I can't prove it to you but I haven't cheated on you." then move on. 

It really does stink that the worst days usually follow the best days!
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waverider
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Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
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« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2013, 03:14:39 PM »

Sorry

My philosophy is to state my truth, validate and then move on.  "Hubby, I love you.  I don't remember my mom saying that.  I can't prove it to you but I haven't cheated on you." then move on. 

It really does stink that the worst days usually follow the best days!

This and avoid going into JADE, just disengage. It is a pain, but that's the disability
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