Bullying victims?

[BioAdoptMom3]

I read on another post where a parent mentioned bulling and the adjectives, real and imagined.  I have also seen a lot of posts here about our children being bullied.  Do you think that BPD children sometimes imagine that other kids are bullying them?  I know that thought where our DD is concerned, has crossed my mind.  What do you think?

Thanks!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[crazedncrazymom]

That's a really good question.  I do know from some of my dds comments about me that she is hypersensitive.  For instance, she gained a LOT of weight due to different medications and if I say honey, we really do need to get you some new clothes as the ones you have now don't fit anymore.  She will say I'm calling her fat and being really insulting towards her.

However, I do know the way she behaves does invite bullying.  So who really knows?

-crazed

[hopeangel]

I always did wonder as dd made a lot of 'abuse' stories up about anyone and everyone she met so I did wonder about the alleged bullying at school.

I did go up to see the teacher who said she hadn't seen anything like that but would make a special effort to make sure she was included.

Dd maintained she was bullied at school until recently she said to me 'I wasn't bullied at school but I thought I was, I was just sensitive and didn't fit in like the other kids but I wasn't bullied at all really, it just seemed like that to me!'

That was what I had always suspected really!

[PaulaJeanne]

Interesting. My dd (20) walked off her dream job, which she had for a year, and told me she was being bullied by some of the other employees. It was the first I'd ever heard of that from her. Her first hospitalization, at age 14, came after a half-hearted suicide attempt following an incident where a rival manipulated her into allowing the rival to chop all my dd's hair off. Six years ago, and she hasn't had a haircut other than the tiniest trim since. I guess that was an actual bullying event, but I have no idea how she could possibly allowed herself to get manipulated that way.

[jellibeans]

I think many young BPD are subject to bullying... .I think sometimes it is a result of the friends really not being able to deal with the behavior of the pwBPD... .it is the pwBPD that struggles with friendships over and over again. Never being able to maintain friends. If you think about how hard it is at times for you as a parent to get along with your child then think how a young person manages with the drama I think you can kind of understand where things go wrong... .it is not right at all but I can kind of see why they are picked on.

[Bracken]

Hi,

Bullying has been THE theme in our daughter's life story.

She does misinterpret social cues. And sometimes her conversational timing is off. Then, others may snub her - . And this adds to her lack of confidence, and her sense that people are mocking her. A vicious cycle.

I have witnessed bullying - even by her grade 2 teacher, who dumped the contents of D's school desk on the floor, because she "was fed up with her refusing to tidy it". She made me pick it all up, when I came to get D after class. I took D to the school psychologist, who concluded that D had a "social disability" and ADD.

D changed schools, but stories of bullying continued. She said that she spent lunch hours hiding in the washroom. I remember one of her classmates coming up to me and saying: " no one likes your daughter." She did not say this spitefully -  she was trying to be helpful. By grade 6, D said that she was not just being called "stupid", but also "ugly". That has caused a permanent, serious BODY IMAGE disorder.

D still has difficulty with peers - only a few close friends. Just last summer, she was not rehired back for the job the following the year - (the only student who wasn't)- because they told her that she "didn't fit in".

And all the hurtful stuff her peers have said to her about her looks (whether intentionally or not)  - what a "F" ed  up generation they are that way. The Facebook generation!

But older people - her parents' age -  go out of their way to comment on her charm, intelligence, and beauty. Not sure what that means --

[femom]

Bracken - You have described my daughter to a "t".  She has always had a hard time fitting in and getting along with peers - especially girls.  Up until age 9 or 10, most of her best friends were boys.  I think many of these difficulties stem from being unable to read non-verbal cues.  The social skills that are natural to most young adults do not come easily to her yet she too is seen as charming, bright, engaging, etc by older people.