Leaving

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I need to leave my BPD friend.  I've tried many times, and I always allow myself back in.  I know it's unhealthy, and with each "break-up/make-up" I feel less loved and more just needed/used.

Unless I want to continue to be his pseudo wife, mother, shrink and *constant* support system there is no point in staying.

Every time I try to leave I get "guilted" in to coming back. My own dependency on him is a factor too. However, this is making less sense to me because I'm not getting much out of the friendship anymore.

I'm also worried about him blackmailing me too (he knows a lot about me-too much).

So, how do I proceed with no contact without falling back into guilt/fear feelings?  I should say that I work with him so I will have to deal with him on a professional level.

[sharlock]

I need to leave my BPD friend.  I've tried many times, and I always allow myself back in.  I know it's unhealthy, and with each "break-up/make-up" I feel less loved and more just needed/used.

Unless I want to continue to be his pseudo wife, mother, shrink and *constant* support system there is no point in staying.

Every time I try to leave I get "guilted" in to coming back. My own dependency on him is a factor too. However, this is making less sense to me because I'm not getting much out of the friendship anymore.

I'm also worried about him blackmailing me too (he knows a lot about me-too much).

So, how do I proceed with no contact without falling back into guilt/fear feelings?  I should say that I work with him so I will have to deal with him on a professional level.

[heartandwhole]

sharlock,

It sounds like you are putting your needs first right now, and I commend you.  It's not an easy decision.  Since you will see your friend at work, NC is not an option for you, but you can control your side of the communication.

Here is some great info. about how to leave a partner with BPD.  I know this isn't your partner, but the advice may be helpful for you.

Leaving a Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder

How are you doing today, sharlock?