still under the F in FOF

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Arn

Fight FIRE with FIRE and hire a lawyer with very big testicles! If I could take the time back I knew how to fight with my husband.

[Pearl55]

Arn

Fight FIRE with FIRE and hire a lawyer with very big testicles! If I could take the time back I knew how to fight with my husband.

[Pearl55]

Arn

Come out of this fantasy of love or whatever, she is a nuts, %100 nuts. Wake up!

[Mutt]

Arn,

Fight back by buying and reading this.

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1608820254

[arn131arn]

Arn,

Fight back by buying and reading this.

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1608820254

U dam man, Mutt.  I will go to Barnes and Nobles tomorrow.  I just visited with my attorney.  This is common and he is prepared to eat her lunch about all of these allegations.  It just hurts because she is doing this a WEEK before my son's birthday.  So calculated... . so planned.

My son told my sister that my ex got mad a week ago and smashed his Kindle Fire on the ground.  But it's ok because he can still use it because only the screen is cracked.  I cried as I imagined the situation.  She trying to get him into the car so she can go see my replacement.  He refusing because he doesn't want to go to his grandmother's anymore (she is NOT a loving/caring person.)  So she snapped on him.  I almost wish she was still enmeshing him unhealthily because at least he wouldn't feel neglected or abandoned by both of us.

She is alienating me from him... . totally consumed with her new man.  And now abandoning my son to run off with the replacement.  All those years of being an overprotective mother and using the excuse of love of her life is her son, blah, blah, blah... . I see through her façade.

It's all bs.  And it makes me cry thinking of my 8 yr old son... . with no one right now

[Mutt]

Arn,

During my reading and research I had come across a quote that's become somewhat of a mantra for myself and I remind myself often of it.

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.

Sigmund Freud

Don't let the mentally ill lead the charge. Read the book. Print this pamphlet off and give it to your L.

https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/pamp-eddy.pdf

[arn131arn]

Thanks, Mutt.

Going to buy the book "Splitting" tomorrow. 

Met with attorney today.  There are so many holes in her deposition for the need of the RO, that we are going to seek perjury charges.  Almost everyone of the allegations is NOT provable.  Not like I'm worried bc they never happened anyway.  This should put an end to her character assasination and calm her down with these frivolous courtroom allegations!

Fighting fire with fire.  There goes my savings, there goes trying to do this amicably.  When I heard what she did with my son and his Kindle Fire, and imagining the hurt he has been feeling, and my new mantra, Mutt lent me (see above)... . it's now time.

... . like we, Italians say, "let's take it to the matresses... . "

I'm coming b***h... . You will NOW be exposed for the fraud you are... .

[Mutt]

Thanks, Mutt.

Going to buy the book "Splitting" tomorrow.  

Met with attorney today.  There are so many holes in her deposition for the need of the RO, that we are going to seek perjury charges.  Almost everyone of the allegations is NOT provable.  Not like I'm worried bc they never happened anyway.  This should put an end to her character assasination and calm her down with these frivolous courtroom allegations!

Fighting fire with fire.  There goes my savings, there goes trying to do this amicably.  When I heard what she did with my son and his Kindle Fire, and imagining the hurt he has been feeling, and my new mantra, Mutt lent me (see above)... . it's now time.

... . like we, Italians say, "let's take it to the matresses... . "

I'm coming b***h... . You will NOW be exposed for the fraud you are... .

Arn I understand that your angry and your hurt. I'm not an advocate of "fighting fire with fire" Don't get consumed with anger. These people fire off whatever comes to their mind with lies w/out thinking. Fight smart. Don't stoop down to their level. Don't be passive, be aggressive. Document everything. As you said, her deposition is full of holes. Be patient, she can lie all she wants and be aggressive etc... . That's an advantage to you.

[arn131arn]

Thanks for the reality check, Mutt... I will probably be leaning on you the next few months

Arn

[Mutt]

Thanks for the reality check, Mutt... I will probably be leaning on you the next few months

Arn

Np Arn. The truth has a way of working it's way out. Just document everything. You will see a pattern with the ex/ with the lying. It will help you in your case. It's hard to remember everything, I find especially with a PD to connect all of the dots sometimes because of how they distort everything. It's easier to keep track of exactly what was said and reference back to it. Communicate only by e-mail to keep records.

I felt angry, I still feel anger towards the ex because of the time that I was denied with the kids in the past year. The way that I see it, is that they are going to resent her when they are older and that will be to my benefit. They may want to stay with me full-time (13 years old in Canada) because I'm the stable one etc... .

That will eat the ex up, but that's from her actions and inability to think things through and the collateral damage that she did without looking at the big picture. Did I fight fire with fire? No. I didn't do anything. I let the ex work against herself and I was there when the kids needed me.

[broken3]

Arn,

I second what Mutt said. Be the good parent, document, and I had a court ordered text only written.

I never did anything, said anything and she was able to self implode all on her own doing.