Did your ex constantly remind you of her infidelity?

[BorisAcusio]

She didn't feel any remorse or guilt. That's pretty common among BPDs but mine was telling me abour details with a cruel grin on her face, the sexual things they did in the bathroom, about the guy's car when we had to use public transport. When I escorted her to the dentis told me that she may have gingivitis because of the emergency contraception pill took after they had sex. She told me that at least ten times.

[Want2know]

I'm not sure I hear that often.  Usually it's that they are denying their encounters with others.

What was your emotional reaction to her when she said those things?  What did you say to her?

[BorisAcusio]

I'm not sure I hear that often.  Usually it's that they are denying their encounters with others.

What was your emotional reaction to her when she said those things?  What did you say to her?

She was still denying the relationship while I was held the facebook log in my hands. It started after I contacted the guy and made him clear what happened. She was Triangulation us and we didn't know about each other. 

I think she was maybe punishing me for ending the relationship. The guy could be my replacement and her easy way out as they were already talking about moving together after 1 month.

Emotional reaction? First rage, then shame. Could even fight back as it was too cruel to deal with.

[Want2know]

Ah, so her talk of what they did sexually was after you broke up?

If so, that makes a bit of a difference.  My ex, after we broke up, said lots of things that were hurtful.

[BorisAcusio]

Ah, so her talk of what they did sexually was after you broke up?

If so, that makes a bit of a difference.  My ex, after we broke up, said lots of things that were hurtful.

No, after they broke up with the guy she was screwing behind my back. Sadly, we remained together for 5 long months.

[ShadowDancer]

In my particular situation it was her consistent off the wall comments about her sexual conquests and exploits in conjunction with her wandering wolfish eyes that was eventually her own undoing with me. I'm no fool and I have been around the block a time or two myself, and with a bod like hers, and the set of techniques she applied right out of the gate, well yeah duh I knew she had been around but come on, lets cap the escalating specific details.

When her shock value comments finally degenerated into specific unwanted details about the swinging/swapping life style pursued in her previous dysfunctional marriage and the comparisons between me and this guy or that random guy I had to put my foot down and tell her the save the repulsive details and the locker room comparisons as I was not jealous, threatened, nor do I have feelings of personal inadequacy, which now in hindsight I believe she was attempting to spark. It eventually spoiled and soiled any feelings of endearment I initially had for her and I found the litany of comments eventually added an uncomfortable sense of the bizarre and surreal to the relationship in that I found myself questioning the nature of both our intentions. Was this affair emotional, spiritual, sexual, transactional or just flat out mutually exploitative?. I eventually settled on the latter.

Now that I know more about what makes these creatures tick I realize she had very pronounced histrionic features to her brand of madness. She actually considered sexual attention and attraction as the ultimate indicator and measure of her personal self worth which I in the end found to be tragically sad and this stark realization left me with a feeling of melancholy, sick to my stomach, repulsed detachment. I simply started to see her, myself, and the relationship differently and felt I was selling myself short with this destructive woman/child.

During one of our last conversations she said to me "I think I told you to much". I remained silent but I was thinking "you think so?", and I saw her reading my feeling in my eyes and she knew at that point she was dead in the water and out of road with me. She then dropped her clothes and stood there in all her glory with a crap eating grin and said "no man says no to this" and in my shock I said "well then I will be the first" and turned and walked out the door. That was our last face to face conversation. Six weeks later she had her meth addicted door mat ex rob my house and she left town with him.

After her e-mail recycle attempts (when the money ran out?) failed and before I changed all contact information her final e-mail in verbatim was thus;

"I am so happy your are FINALLY letting go of me. Maybe now now you can come out of the closet and embrace your true self. I am so excited you are not denying it anymore. I wish you only the best. You go boyyyy". At that point I went NC.

Boris don't punish yourself or dwell with her provoking junk... . you just can't fix that kind of ignorant stupidity.

[growing_wings]

After her e-mail recycle attempts failed and before I changed all contact information her final e-mail in verbatim was thus;

"I am so happy your are FINALLY letting go of me. Maybe now now you can come out of the closet and embrace your true self. I am so excited you are not denying it anymore. I wish you only the best. You go boyyyy". At that point I went NC. You just can't fix that kind of stupidity and ignorance.

WOW (and sorry to hijack the thread), lines above could have been written by my exBPD! how come they are so similar, i am impressed... .

[Waifed]

I caught her once.  I had undeniable evidence and even though we were fighting and not speaking a week prior to her going to Europe and hooking up with said boy she did not deny it.  She cried for hours saying she was sorry over and over.  She would not let me leave the room.  She ripped my shirt off when I tried to get away from her.  I think she was shamed and maybe had some guilt.  It passed.  She was fearing abandonment more  than anything I think.  Her fears were dead on.

[ShadowDancer]

After her e-mail recycle attempts failed and before I changed all contact information her final e-mail in verbatim was thus;

"I am so happy your are FINALLY letting go of me. Maybe now now you can come out of the closet and embrace your true self. I am so excited you are not denying it anymore. I wish you only the best. You go boyyyy". At that point I went NC. You just can't fix that kind of stupidity and ignorance.

WOW (and sorry to hijack the thread), lines above could have been written by my exBPD! how come they are so similar, i am impressed... .

It is the result of one of two things... . either they read the same script... . or... . we were seeing the same play.

[shellsh0cked]

During one of our last conversations she said to me "I think I told you to much". I remained silent but I was thinking "you think so?", and I saw her reading my feeling in my eyes and she knew at that point she was dead in the water and out of road with me. She then dropped her clothes and stood there in all her glory with a crap eating grin and said "no man says no to this" and in my shock I said "well then I will be the first" and turned and walked out the door. That was our last face to face conversation. Six weeks later she had her meth addicted door mat ex rob my house and she left town with him.

After her e-mail recycle attempts (when the money ran out?) failed and before I changed all contact information her final e-mail in verbatim was thus;

"I am so happy your are FINALLY letting go of me. Maybe now now you can come out of the closet and embrace your true self. I am so excited you are not denying it anymore. I wish you only the best. You go boyyyy". At that point I went NC.

Boris don't punish yourself or dwell with her provoking junk... . you just can't fix that kind of ignorant stupidity.

Dude... . you are my freaking hero.  I wish I had the courage to have done that.  She was great in bed... . knew how to keep me snared, and whether she admitted it or not, manipulated the fork out of me with sex.  When we broke up once in December 2011 she came over and told me how she had sex with two other guys while yelling at me in front of my house.  Rubbed it in my face... . Only said out of cruelty.  Wotta b!tch!


I like that email she sent you... . Here's one I got a month after we got back together for the umpteenth time... . What it was about I don't know... . but it's nice... .

!

I FELL FOR YOUR GODDAMNED STUPID BULLSH!T ON VALENTINE'S DAY! WHAT A GODDAMNED DUMBASS I AM YOU NARCISSISTIC F#CKED UP SON OF A BITCH!1


Nice huh?  Great girl.  

[ShadowDancer]

During one of our last conversations she said to me "I think I told you to much". I remained silent but I was thinking "you think so?", and I saw her reading my feeling in my eyes and she knew at that point she was dead in the water and out of road with me. She then dropped her clothes and stood there in all her glory with a crap eating grin and said "no man says no to this" and in my shock I said "well then I will be the first" and turned and walked out the door. That was our last face to face conversation. Six weeks later she had her meth addicted door mat ex rob my house and she left town with him.

After her e-mail recycle attempts (when the money ran out?) failed and before I changed all contact information her final e-mail in verbatim was thus;

"I am so happy your are FINALLY letting go of me. Maybe now now you can come out of the closet and embrace your true self. I am so excited you are not denying it anymore. I wish you only the best. You go boyyyy". At that point I went NC.

Boris don't punish yourself or dwell with her provoking junk... . you just can't fix that kind of ignorant stupidity.

Dude... . you are my freaking hero.  I wish I had the courage to have done that.  She was great in bed... . knew how to keep me snared, and whether she admitted it or not, manipulated the fork out of me with sex.  When we broke up once in December 2011 she came over and told me how she had sex with two other guys while yelling at me in front of my house.  Rubbed it in my face... . Only said out of cruelty.  Wotta b!tch!


I like that email she sent you... . Here's one I got a month after we got back together for the umpteenth time... . What it was about I don't know... . but it's nice... .

!

I FELL FOR YOUR GODDAMNED STUPID BULLSH!T ON VALENTINE'S DAY! WHAT A GODDAMNED DUMBASS I AM YOU NARCISSISTIC F#CKED UP SON OF A BITCH!1


Nice huh?  Great girl.  

BIG TIME LOL!... .   Me thinks perhaps Wings, yourself and I were seeing the same banshee.

[shellsh0cked]

Yep... . she is insane.  To think I ALMOST let her take my life away from me... .

[ShadowDancer]

Yep... . she is insane.  To think I ALMOST let her take my life away from me... .

That is a sentiment you and I share literally. My mentor said to me after the robbery... . "my man... . perhaps you were lucky. Just think what could have happened had you come home and they were still here". By the way they destroyed things in my house I knew he was correct. This was much more than a simple robbery. It was very creepy. So creepy that I leased my rancho and moved to a secret location. You just can't fix that type of crazy. Evasive action became the order of the day.

[growing_wings]

During one of our last conversations she said to me "I think I told you to much". I remained silent but I was thinking "you think so?", and I saw her reading my feeling in my eyes and she knew at that point she was dead in the water and out of road with me. She then dropped her clothes and stood there in all her glory with a crap eating grin and said "no man says no to this" and in my shock I said "well then I will be the first" and turned and walked out the door. That was our last face to face conversation. Six weeks later she had her meth addicted door mat ex rob my house and she left town with him.

After her e-mail recycle attempts (when the money ran out?) failed and before I changed all contact information her final e-mail in verbatim was thus;

"I am so happy your are FINALLY letting go of me. Maybe now now you can come out of the closet and embrace your true self. I am so excited you are not denying it anymore. I wish you only the best. You go boyyyy". At that point I went NC.

Boris don't punish yourself or dwell with her provoking junk... . you just can't fix that kind of ignorant stupidity.

Dude... . you are my freaking hero.  I wish I had the courage to have done that.  She was great in bed... . knew how to keep me snared, and whether she admitted it or not, manipulated the fork out of me with sex.  When we broke up once in December 2011 she came over and told me how she had sex with two other guys while yelling at me in front of my house.  Rubbed it in my face... . Only said out of cruelty.  Wotta b!tch!


I like that email she sent you... . Here's one I got a month after we got back together for the umpteenth time... . What it was about I don't know... . but it's nice... .

!

I FELL FOR YOUR GODDAMNED STUPID BULLSH!T ON VALENTINE'S DAY! WHAT A GODDAMNED DUMBASS I AM YOU NARCISSISTIC F#CKED UP SON OF A BITCH!1


Nice huh?  Great girl.  

BIG TIME LOL!... .   Me thinks perhaps Wings, yourself and I were seeing the same banshee.

hahaha... could be!