Idk what I'm doing wrong. I make as much time for him as I can. I've been nothing but nice and accomidating to his need for contact. Not much I do lives up to the standards of a girlfriend "who cares about her man." I'm starting to get really angry.
You aren't doing anything wrong. He has the problem, and you can't fix him, no matter how many tools you use. About all you can do is accept this is the way he is (right now, at least), take care of yourself, and decide if this is something you can live with.
You are exhausted. I'm there, too. I just wish there could be one good something that I could hold onto regarding the r/s. But like you, it seems that no matter what I do, things for her are still the same, and I am starting to realize that my future with her will be me doing my best to be me while I have a chronically unhappy person in my house. This message board is for helping *us* decide, but it seems like more often than not the BPD in our lives is making up our minds for us by putting us in no-win situations, where the only way we can "win" is to be without them.