BPD/sociopath combo (30 y.o. daughter)

[Sunset]

Hello!

Please don't think I am rude for not posting, I just have such chronic huge issues with my 30 y.o. daughter, I feel I never get a break. Every year, since about 16, we have all waited for her to "grow up".

I think I have determined, after many books, that she not only is BPD but also a sociopath. (there's another term, that's new, but unfortunately I cannot recall.) I know she's Axis 2.

She keeps stealing and stealing and attempting to steal (that was the latest) that I caught 2 wks ago. and I'm not even sure she knows that I know.

The rest of the time, she literally, adores her Mommy, cannot live without talking to me 10x a day, and wants us to live again together.

I called the forensic shrink (in Texas; friends, too now that I'm no longer there), he knows her, and he said I have to get away; she's toxic. Let her go to jail.

I can't do that. This is my dilemma. She would go away for 5-10 yrs.

As I said, she's soo needy and just a mess. Because she is very very pretty, people don't believe she can be quite this disfunctional.

Thank you for listening (, reading) as a Mom, I can't let her live in the street or go to jail.

I just keep hoping she will grow up?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MammaMia]

Welcome Sunset

We are so glad you have found BPDF, and as the mother of a 40yo BPDs, I understand your situation.  One of the main characteristics of BPD is emotional immaturity.  Another is mood dysregulation.  You have just described both in your dd.  However, there are many other symptoms and disorders that often co-exist with BPD.

I assume from what you have said that your dd does not have a definite diagnosis from a physician. That should be a priority, IF you can get her to be evaluated.  Unfortunately, it is often very difficult to get "adult" children to cooperate.  Perhaps at some point, the legal system could intervene and make a psychiatric evaluation mandatory.

As you may know, BPD is a very serious and complex mental illness.  There is a wealth of information  about it here and many of us are dealing with the same exact issues with our children.  We can help guide and support you, but please checkout the available resources as well.    

One thing you need to know is that you are no longer fighting this battle alone.  There is great comfort in sharing your story with others who understand, so please keep posting and fill us in on what has happened with regard to your dd.

We all look forward to hearing from you and being of help.  Thank you for joining us.