Think it's about to hit the fan again

[Perdita]

This morning my BPbf called me and casually informed me that his housemate's family is in town.  He didn't say it right out, but this means that his ex-housemate is here too.  All of them under the same roof with bf.  This is the ex-housemate I've been writing about.  The one that comes back every couple of months resulting in my "relationship" (don't even know what to call it anymore) going to heck and back in a short time. 

One of her siblings is having a birthday party this evening.  I have no problem with him and would like to go.  I have been invited.  Problem is that I can't stand the sight of this thing anymore and avoided seeing her the last time she was here in April.  The anxiety is already starting.  During this week I've gotten the sense that something is bothering bf.  This must be it.  I usually get tossed aside when she is here.  No reason to believe this won't happen again. 

What do I do?  Go to the party and simply duck out early?  Or send the guy a birthday message and then let my bf know that I will see him some other time.  The lies and deceit are over-the-top when she's in town.  I know what's coming.  I just don't know how to handle it.  Surely my bf knew before today that she was going to be here?  If it weren't for the birthday I wouldn't even be considering going over. 

I really desperately need input.  I am meant to be there in about 2 hours.

[gary seven]

Perdita:

Look within yourself. 

What is best for YOU?

Unstable BPDs suck you into their vortex of emotional guilt and blame better than a new Dyson vacuum cleaner.

Maybe this is the time to set a boundary.  You set the rules of attendance, participation, etc.  Or you could just treat yourself to a movie matinee, and send the best wishes, without getting hurt.

Courage I have found, comes in small steps.

ps: Jersey Boys was a great movie.  Directed by Clint Eastwood.