16 year old daughter doing well in residential hospitalization

[murmom]

Well after four years of 20+ hospitilizations, drug use, running away, counselors/doctors blaming "us," the parents, I think we are onto something with my daughter's current hospitilization. 

We had to move over 1,000 miles away to make it happen, but my daughter caught the attention of a wonderful psychiatrist in the ER of our local hospital.  He helped my daughter's father and I get her committed and into a program at a state hospital.  This program is highly structured (5 hours of school a day; daily psychotherapy both one-on-one and in group; medication stablization). 

We visited our daughter Sunday and she actually had some insight into her behavior and issues.  Up until this visit she would deny she had any issues or that she could control her behaviors that led to her issues.  My daughter (I'll call her E) was very calm, funny, coherent, and insightful during our visit. 

E is going into another program at this hospital tomorrow.  This program will last from 4-6 months.  She is attending school at the hospital and doing very well.  E can actually talk about her classwork - what she is reading - how she is understanding geometry - etc., in a way that was painfully absent when she was in crisis and abusing drugs. 

I know that E is in a highly structured environment, but her response to the program has given me back my hope.  I know hospitilization won't fix E, but this is a place from where we can start.   

Six months ago I was hopeless and so distraught over E's behavior.  My hope for every parent is that they can eventually get back to feeling hopeful. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[mama72]

Beyond happy for you and your dd!

[pessim-optimist]

Wow, murmom,

That must have been a stressful ride with all those hospitalizations... .And moving your family over a 1,000 miles - you are one dedicated family! Your daughter is blessed to have such loving parents.

Thank you for sharing - this new program sounds like a wonderful turnaround; please keep us posted, how it continues!  

Tell us more - did the psychiatrist from the ER recommend this out of state hospital? Is that when your dd got diagnosed?

What kind of program is it? Is it covered by insurance, or privately paid?

[murmom]

No we didn't move to put her in the hospital.  We moved out of state to get E away from drugs and less than desirable friends.   We tried for over four years to get the right help for E in our home state.    We (meaning her dad and I) were blamed for E's behavior by family, the schools, and even the head psychiatrist from the clinic we had to use for insurance purposes.  The story of the misdiagnosis, conflicting opinions on treatment, and blame makes me very angry at the system in our home state.    So one month after moving, E had a breakdown and was taken by the police to the ER in our new state.   The professionals involved there were on top of the situation and recognized E's need for serious help.   So we lucked out in moving to a state with a better system.   The program is paid for by Medicaid and we are very thankful E is getting the help she needs.

[pessim-optimist]

I am happy for you and blown away that you can get top notch treatment paid by Medicaid in one state and on the other hand are forced to use a less than ideal facility paid by your own insurance... .

Wow! Everything happens for a reason!

Keep us posted, murmom, ok?

[murmom]

Pessim-Optimist:

I wouldn't consider the treatment my daughter is currently receiving "top notch," but it is - if nothing else - CONSISTENT.  It is through a state mental hospital, but everyone there is caring but firm.  My daughter has to earn privileges and the staff, therapist and doctors are consistent with E.  Therapy everyday, both one-on-one and group, has kind of forced my daughter to face up to her issues.  Hopefully E is facing up to her issues because it is best for her and not because she wants to work through the levels quickly so that she'll get released a little earlier - that is my big concern!

Anyway, when I had private insurance for mental health that, in and of itself, was a whole other story!  The insurance company was owned by a psychiatrist and a psychologist.  The psychiatrist my daughter had to see was the owner of the insurance company.  Even after 20+ short term hospitalizations for suicide attempts/idealization, this psychiatrist was adamant that long-term residential treatment WOULD NOT help E.  We fought it once and he finally capitulated and paid for two months of residential, which according to a second opinion psychiatrist was not long enough. (E went back to the same behaviors shortly after being released from 2 months of residential).  This, according to E's regular psychiatrist, was evidence that residential treatment WOULD NOT WORK for E.   

My story includes hiring a lawyer, trying to get services through the state from our previous state (ok, Florida, that state  ).  In four years all I got from anyone in the system in Florida was the RUNAROUND.  E's school refused to put her on a 504/IEP, even though it was obvious her behavior (she was expelled from school) contributed to her school difficulties.  I can go on and on, but although I had private mental health insurance - it was basically worthless.  I am so glad to be out of Florida and the system there.