17 year old daughter with BPD - started DBT

[MomWendy]

Hi everyone!  

I am a mom of a 17 year old daughter with BPD.

The last couple of years have been very awful.

I have a great husband. My daughter has showed big improvement over the past few months.

She started DBT in November, and also attends a teen skills group.

She is a more functional now, but has great difficulty with school and work.

Our older two children are well. And we have never had a BPD person in the family before. I find myself grieving a lot over all that has happened:cutting, overdoses, crises, rages, trips to the hospital, and very long wait for psychiatric care. I worry about the possibility of her suicide during a crisis, or, that she would have to live with mental illness for the rest of her life. Sorry this isn't more uplifting.  MomWendy.  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[free-n-clear]

   Hi, MomWendy. Welcome to our not-so-little family!

  I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is suffering with this terrible disorder. As a parent of a young adult daughter myself (mine is 24) I understand how heartbreaking it must be for you.   I'm glad you've found your way to this site, though. The information, resources and most importantly the support available to you here will prove to be a great help.

  The fact that she's in DBT is great - it's the most effective and successful treatment for BPD. I'm glad to hear that she's shown some big improvement recently. When a child suffers from BPD, not only is she unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves her. As you are aware, this mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama, grief and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. Are you taking care of you, as well? How well do her older siblings interact with her?

  As I mentioned, we have lots of resources here. A great place to start is with: What can a parent do?. I see you've already found our Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD discussion board - the senior members there are all in situations like yours, and they share with, learn from and support each other. They'll take you under their wing and make you feel right at home. You're among understanding friends here, MomWendy, so once again, Welcome Aboard!

  free'n'clear.  

[lbjnltx]

Hello Momwendy

Glad that you found this site and are reaching out for support and information... .you will find both here!

I also have a daughter, 17 diagnosed w/emerging BPD (at age 12).  Happy to say she is happy, well, and reaching milestones just like her peers.  There have been set backs (like her dad passing away last November) and she continues to amaze me with how resilient and strong she can be. 

Take heart... .there is much to learn and much to benefit from through your membership here.

lbjnltx

[MomWendy]

Hello Momwendy

Glad that you found this site and are reaching out for support and information... .you will find both here!

I also have a daughter, 17 diagnosed w/emerging BPD (at age 12).  Happy to say she is happy, well, and reaching milestones just like her peers.  There have been set backs (like her dad passing away last November) and she continues to amaze me with how resilient and strong she can be.  

Take heart... .there is much to learn and much to benefit from through your membership here. Lb

lbjnltx

sorry I am having lots of trouble figuring out how to navigate this site. thank you for your message of support!  I really appreciate it. I am active on many Facebook forums, and have met some other moms in person. my daughter has good therapy, and is becoming more settled behaviourally.

MomWendy

[NorthernGirl]

Hi MomWendy. I wanted to welcome you to the site and make sure you have figured out how to navigate the site, since you said you were having some trouble. We want to make sure you can find the help you need, so post any questions you have and we'll help you get going!

A few suggestions: free'n'clear included a couple links right in her post to help you get to the Parenting discussion board and to an article called What can a parent do? I'll include another link to the Parenting board here so you can try again: Parenting a son or daughter suffering from BPD board

You can just click right on those words and it will take you to the discussion board. Once you are on the board, you will see postings, including some great links down the right hand side that you just click on and open.

Let us know if you're still having problems and we'll do our best to help you get going. It'll be easier once you get the hang of it.

Welcome again!

[MomWendy]

Hi MomWendy. I wanted to welcome you to the site and make sure you have figured out how to navigate the site, since you said you were having some trouble. We want to make sure you can find the help you need, so post any questions you have and we'll help you get going!

A few suggestions: free'n'clear included a couple links right in her post to help you get to the Parenting discussion board and to an article called What can a parent do? I'll include another link to the Parenting board here so you can try again: Parenting a son or daughter suffering from BPD board

You can just click right on those words and it will take you to the discussion board. Once you are on the board, you will see postings, including some great links down the right hand side that you just click on and open.

Let us know if you're still having problems and we'll do our best to help you get going. It'll be easier once you get the hang of it.

Welcome again!

yes I think I've got it now, thank you. I haven't posted yet on the parent board, but I will!

[pessim-optimist]

I want to join others in welcoming you to the Parenting board!



Glad to have you! Please make yourself at home!

[mmomm]

Welcome!  I'm new here myself, and am awkwardly navigating around, but slowly getting the hang of it.  I'm so glad you are reaching out-we're all in this together.  I have a 19 year old son who was recently diagnosed, though the symptoms have been there for a long time.  I hope that tomorrow brings you even just a couple of moments of peace, or joy, or even just some comfort from a community such as this.  Good for you for seeking support!

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, MomWendy & I'd like to join everyone else in welcoming you to this site. I'm very sorry for the troubles that you have been having with your daughter, and so many of us parents on the Board know what it feels like to deal with the self-destructive behaviors you are having to live with. It's horrible having to watch this in our child and feel so helpless to make it all go away!

My adult (37) son had similar behaviors (besides a multi-year opiate addiction), and after more than 17 months of various treatments, he is now clean & sober for all of those months, and in recovery from his many BPD symptoms and behaviors. He is still battling Social Anxiety, but every day is a baby step forward for him. There is hope, MomWendy... .

If you are still having some questions about making your way around this site, this will help you: How do I navigate this site?

I'd also like to invite you to check out this thread for other helpful links: Welcome Newbies. And while you are there, you can say "Hi" 

I hope that things get better for your family, soon 

[HealingSpirit]

Hi MomWendy and Mmomm,

I'd like to add my welcome to the mix. 

I am a mom of a 17 year old daughter with BPD.

The last couple of years have been very awful.

I have a great husband. My daughter has showed big improvement over the past few months.

She started DBT in November, and also attends a teen skills group.

She is a more functional now, but has great difficulty with school and work.

Oh boy, I hear you!  My DD is 17 as well.  The teen years have been a constant state of drama.  It's exhausting!  I'm glad you are at least seeing some improvement over the past few months though.  It's like watching them take 2 steps forward, 1 step backward.  I'm so sorry you've been through so much.

Our older two children are well. And we have never had a BPD person in the family before. I find myself grieving a lot over all that has happened:cutting, overdoses, crises, rages, trips to the hospital, and very long wait for psychiatric care. I worry about the possibility of her suicide during a crisis, or, that she would have to live with mental illness for the rest of her life. Sorry this isn't more uplifting. 

Me too!  Ditto on all counts (except our DD17 is an only child).  Grief and disappointment are my middle names lately.  But I don't DARE let my disappointment show.  My DD takes it personally and thinks I don't love her when I'm disappointed about her behavior.  I have ALWAYS addressed behavior, never who she is, so her chronic misunderstanding about that confounds me.  And Please don't ever feel you have to apologize about posting your sadness, grief, disappointment and fears here!  That's what we're HERE for!  That's why we post on this board.  It really helps to vent to people who know what it is like living with a pwBPD.  It's comforting, in a weird sort of way, to know we're not alone... .that others are going through similar things.  (Misery loves company.)   

You mentioned FB forums. I haven't been on FB for a while.  Are there BPD forums there?  Can you tell us more about that?