What's this all about?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I'm curious about a couple of things.  :)o these things mean anything and if so, what?

Everything is all this or none at all.  There is never any in between.  His mother is the same way.  It's always these great extremes with nothing in the middle.

He hates if he thinks you give an ultimatum (I don't really. Sometimes tell him I'm not discussing but never if you do that then... .).  He gives them but won't take them. Accuses me of making them when they're not.

And, he'll ask you a question.  Why the h*%$ did you blank?  So I calmly give him the reason and then he says I'm just making excuses.  No, just explaining why.  You asked, I answered.  He HATES excuses. Says I refuse to take responsibility.  My only other option is to not say anything, which also infuriates him. And, it's never made a difference in the storm that follows. What is this about?  I feel damned either way.

He takes credit for everything (good). If it's bad, it's somehow something I did.  He doesn't do it to just me. He's always mad b/c someone took credit for something he did.

And he thinks people copy him.  

I'm sure there are other things, but those are the big things I have right now.

Thanks for your input.

[UnknownBPD]

I'm curious about a couple of things.  :)o these things mean anything and if so, what?

Everything is all this or none at all.  There is never any in between.  His mother is the same way.  It's always these great extremes with nothing in the middle.

He hates if he thinks you give an ultimatum (I don't really. Sometimes tell him I'm not discussing but never if you do that then... .).  He gives them but won't take them. Accuses me of making them when they're not.

And, he'll ask you a question.  Why the h*%$ did you blank?  So I calmly give him the reason and then he says I'm just making excuses.  No, just explaining why.  You asked, I answered.  He HATES excuses. Says I refuse to take responsibility.  My only other option is to not say anything, which also infuriates him. And, it's never made a difference in the storm that follows. What is this about?  I feel damned either way.

He takes credit for everything (good). If it's bad, it's somehow something I did.  He doesn't do it to just me. He's always mad b/c someone took credit for something he did.

And he thinks people copy him.  

I'm sure there are other things, but those are the big things I have right now.

Thanks for your input.

[UnknownBPD]

Any insight?  Is this typical BPD behavior?

[vortex of confusion]

Yes, it is very typical behavior.

Go check out the boards in the Learning Center, specifically the ones about BPD and BPD resources. There are stories like yours repeated all over the boards.

It is black and white thinking and emotional immaturity.