No one heard me and I stopped talking.

[KarenDH]

Firstly, I will say that I am doing well and that I have an amazing support system. I take each day at at a time and trying to put me first. Also trying to avoid relationships for a while.

But it does not erase or ease any of the pain. It has been 1 year since my uBPDw of 7 years, kicked me out of our home, accused me of being physically/emotionally abusive, 10 months of NC, 6 months since our son went to live with his father ( her ex-husband) and 4 months since she moved to California from NY. When my world was falling apart I tried desperately to reach out to her adoptive parents, her biological family, her friends, her therapist to tell them that something was wrong with her. I have been homeless, depressed, angry, lost contact my son and regained contact so many times, I don't know if he is still my son. I didn't give birth to him and the law only allows a child to have two parents, step parents have no rights other than possibly visitation, much less an immigrant lesbian mother. Despite accusing her ex-husband of physical abuse, rape; despite accusing her adoptive father of incest; despite accusing her mother of emotional abuse and neglect it seems like no one is willing to listen to me or afraid to face her head on and get her the help she needs.

NC scares me. I watched her fall apart for years but no one will believe me because of her lies. She has created a new cohort of friends and they are so amazed at her "bravery" for overcoming all her trials. *SIGH*

I'm still climbing out of debt from being rootless for 6 months, I'm fighting immigration to prove to them I was in an abusive marriage, I am so tired. I don't know what I am fighting for, a son I may not be able to see? I wish I could just rest. I text my son everyday but its hard when I didn't give birth to him and the law doesn't recognize that I raised him, I cleaned him, held him at night, went to his school events, every baseball game... .It's so unfair.

I needed to write this down somewhere so that someone could hear me. I am tired of the sad looks friends give me. I am tired of the angry looks people give me. I am tired of having to tell people what happened.

[maric]

I'm so sorry for you!

Maybe you would like to join us on this topic:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=235036.0;topicseen

[Pingo]

Karen, I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  I cannot imagine how difficult it must be.  To not only lose the r/s with your SO but also your son!  I hope you find some comfort on this board, keep posting!  It helps a lot!  So glad to hear you have some great support and you are correct, just keep taking one day at a time.

[neverloveagain]

Everyone on the leaving boards hears you, so please dont stop talking let it out and start to heal. 

[Blimblam]

I'm so sorry Karen!

It sounds like you had it rough. Be careful if her family they may use to to triangulate but they likely don't have your interest in mind as you may have noticed. This is a safe place to let it out. These rs can be devestating in ways only someone who's been trough it can understand. Feel free to post here and be "listened" to.