Another mirroring question

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So today I was talking to one of those bright sunshiney it was all for the best kinds of people. And she was annoying the hell out of me. Which for some reason got me thinking about mirroring. Besides all of the "you're my soulmate" idealization stuff, how does mirroring work? My xbf liked me, I mean, he really, really LIKED me, I know this to be fact (because I'm hilarious and cool as hell  )--so how does it work when they're trying to mirror someone they don't particularly care for, or even someone who just kind of annoys them? Does it matter? I mean, they have to have some REAL opinions about people, right?

[crookedeuphoria]

So today I was talking to one of those bright sunshiney it was all for the best kinds of people. And she was annoying the hell out of me. Which for some reason got me thinking about mirroring. Besides all of the "you're my soulmate" idealization stuff, how does mirroring work? My xbf liked me, I mean, he really, really LIKED me, I know this to be fact (because I'm hilarious and cool as hell  )--so how does it work when they're trying to mirror someone they don't particularly care for, or even someone who just kind of annoys them? Does it matter? I mean, they have to have some REAL opinions about people, right?

[vortex of confusion]

When they are mirroring somebody, they suddenly like all of the things that the other person likes and will do things that they wouldn't do otherwise. I honestly don't know if they have real opinions about people because it seems that their opinions are subject to change on a whim.

The example that comes to mind is my husband. At one point, we were experimenting with an open relationship. He was talking to a chick that was into BDSM and wanted him to learn how to be a dom and a bunch of other stuff. He went along with it and told her how interested he was in all of that. I found it odd because the person that I had been talking to was into some of the same things. It was like he sought out a female version of the guy that I had been talking to. It is kind of comical because I talked to her and added her as a friend on social media. It is obvious that she and I have more in common that he ever had with her.

At one point I asked him why he and I couldn't do those things together. I would have much rather experimented with my husband than anybody else. I am still a bit confused about it all. All I know is that when he stopped talking to that chick, he was back to wanting things to be all vanilla with everything being all sweet and gentle. It blew my mind how he could go from being one way with me to another way entirely with somebody else.

I wanted to go to school and get a master's degree in a specific field so he decided to go into the same field.