My x wife has BPD and severe ADHD...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Thank you for letting me post.  I will be brief due to time constraint, but hope to fill in the blanks later.

I divorced my xBPD about 8 months ago and we had been separated for nearly 1 1/2 yrs before that.  There has been no contact (other than 1 email) since the day we walked out of court.  She gave me a hug and I said goodbye!.  2 months later, due to a handful of circumstances; including just being apprehensive of living in the same town, I move 500 miles away. 

The problems I have recently noticed within myself is an overwhelming sense of sadness, guilt, frustration, anger and feeling of being a total sap!  I have been following a few BPD support groups over the past year and became stronger and more at peace... .a few bits at a time.  Yet lately, I almost feel like I've regressed somewhat.  I suppose this is far from unusual, but I just wanted to hear from someone who may be having (or had had) similar setbacks. 

Like many victims, I was blindsided by her incredible ability to lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, justify, coerce, conspire etc.  Please understand, I have spent countless hours in the past couple years reading and studying any material regarding BPD, adhd, sociopathy, narcissism, psychopathy and bipolar articles.  I hope this brief introduction will help you with understanding my current frustration.

Thank you in advance for you precious time and concerns. 

[Bumpsintheroad]

Thank you for letting me post.  I will be brief due to time constraint, but hope to fill in the blanks later.

I divorced my xBPD about 8 months ago and we had been separated for nearly 1 1/2 yrs before that.  There has been no contact (other than 1 email) since the day we walked out of court.  She gave me a hug and I said goodbye!.  2 months later, due to a handful of circumstances; including just being apprehensive of living in the same town, I move 500 miles away. 

The problems I have recently noticed within myself is an overwhelming sense of sadness, guilt, frustration, anger and feeling of being a total sap!  I have been following a few BPD support groups over the past year and became stronger and more at peace... .a few bits at a time.  Yet lately, I almost feel like I've regressed somewhat.  I suppose this is far from unusual, but I just wanted to hear from someone who may be having (or had had) similar setbacks. 

Like many victims, I was blindsided by her incredible ability to lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, justify, coerce, conspire etc.  Please understand, I have spent countless hours in the past couple years reading and studying any material regarding BPD, adhd, sociopathy, narcissism, psychopathy and bipolar articles.  I hope this brief introduction will help you with understanding my current frustration.

Thank you in advance for you precious time and concerns. 

[sirensong65]

Pull up a bar stool, my friend. 

I am almost 18 months out of a BPD relationship (brief recycle a year ago).

My BPD ex told me when I met him that he had ADHD.  I also dealt with a ton of depression issues, erectile dysfunction, anger outbursts, etc. during our relationship.

Two days before we were to marry, he broke things off saying, "I love you, just realize I'm not IN LOVE with you.  Relationships sometimes don't work out, GET OVER IT!"

My heart was broken AND I was humiliated.  Come to find out he never left the dating sites (I met him there).  And was engaging in relations on various levels with MANY women during the entire time we live together and were engaged.  He was also carrying on with a co worker.

I have been through the 7 stages of grief in no certain order, SEVERAL times over.  Just when I think I am finding my way out of the depression, the anger and the anxiety, HERE I am again.

I am doing talk therapy.  I have walked away from ANY relationships outside of friendships.  I'm fearful I will never feel safe romantically again.  I am thinking of going on depression meds to see if that helps at all.

So, yes, I know very well where you are. 

Siren