Borderline Blues, Trying To Make Sense Of It All.

[borderpatrol]

I always considered myself head strong and a good judge of character. I never understood how cults could recruit or brainwash people, but after 8 months with a borderline I was sucked in. It's funny how it evolves, I always new something was off. I just said to myself this poor thing has been through a lot, poor woman, terrible other men and family. Month by month I could see a slight difference, odd episodes and behaviors, something creeping under the surface. I new not to get to close, but the lure of beauty, sex and devotion over took me. After month six I came to know she was a classic borderline, I tried to hang in there and still be there for her. I think I became addicted to her and then called it love. These people would make brilliant actors and talk about a partner in crime, they certainly can keep a straight face. Looking back you can really see the stream of dysfunction that you overlook, even though your gut was spot on. The experience would make a brilliant book or box office hit, because you cant make this stuff up. How are you going to be able to trust again, give a new person a chance or benefit of the doubt? It almost goes against your sole to think if a person had a tough or dysfunctional upbringing to just leave them alone, there probably damaged. I'm not the type of person to give in to therapy, I work things out in my own way. After finding this site and reading the stories it's mind boggling the wake of chaos these people leave behind, the trickle effect of a bad home environment early on. Makes me even more grateful I was lucky enough to have a loving upbringing. The frustrating part is while you have to deal with emotions, and filter through what happened and decompress, they have no emotions or empathy. They just start a new cycle, find another shoulder and sympathetic soul. They have an ability to have no feeling or emotion in the end of a relationship, or offer closure. Just keep in mind they will be haunted by the thought of being alone, they can put on the act "that happy days are here again", but inside things are ugly and it's not going away for them.

[downwhim]

Borderpatrol,

Thanks for the post, you have great insight.

"Just keep in mind they will be haunted by the thought of being alone, they can put on the act "that happy days are here again", but inside things are ugly and it's not going away for them."

Because you were brought up in such a good family you may be able to process this better than others. You were in for 8 months and I our relationship lasted 8 years... .probably 7 1/2 too long.

Very painful getting out. I am N/C for 3 months. I have less anxiety but still miss him and wish that I didn't. He replaced me immediately and left via email. There was no closure and he and ZERO empathy.

I wish you lots of knowledge as you post and read on this site... .

[borderpatrol]

Borderpatrol,

Thanks for the post, you have great insight.

"Just keep in mind they will be haunted by the thought of being alone, they can put on the act "that happy days are here again", but inside things are ugly and it's not going away for them."

Because you were brought up in such a good family you may be able to process this better than others. You were in for 8 months and I our relationship lasted 8 years... .probably 7 1/2 too long.

Very painful getting out. I am N/C for 3 months. I have less anxiety but still miss him and wish that I didn't. He replaced me immediately and left via email. There was no closure and he and ZERO empathy.

Thanks downwhim, It's going to take a while to heal and rid her from my core, but deep down I know its for the best. It's hard to let it go, while they leave you lost and bewildered, but it's par for the borderline course it seems. I wish you the best and hope each day is better for you.

I wish you lots of knowledge as you post and read on this site... .