Hello, heliosphan &

I'm sorry for all the troubles you and your family are having regarding your Mom, but you have found the right place for some good support, insights and advice.
This link might be able to help you find a Therapist in your area:
NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness. There is a search bar where you search your preferred location.
Please come back and post more about your situation, and let us know if you had any luck finding a Therapist for you and your family. Have you mentioned your suspicions of your Mom having BPD to her? If not, before you do that, it would be beneficial for you to check out this Workshop:
PERSPECTIVES: Telling someone that you think they have BPD.
Most of us have found that mentioning our suspicions that our loved one has BPD is not particularly helpful, and can cause more harm than good. Looking for help for the symptoms and behaviors that cause stress and trauma in a family, however, is a very good move; labeling our loved one as BPD (to her) isn't always the best move.
Please keep us in the loop, heliosphan