Munchausen Syndrome

[trainwreck4]

I am wondering if anyone has had their child diagnosed with Munchausen syndrome?  I have seen many of you on here talk about possible fake illnesses, etc... .   My dd17 has had several (fictional?) Illnesses over the years and it is getting worse. I even see her deliberately sabotage her health in order to go to the doctors to get testing done that is unnecessary, in my humble opinion. It is affiliated with BPD, and appears to be an attention seeking ploy. In many of these cases, I am unable to call her bluff. Yesterdays illness required an ambulance, and she seemed to perk up at hospital then became angry that they wanted to run some tests to see if there was a medical reason for her episode. Anything you guys can share would be appreciated!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[hopeangel]

My dd22 is contantly beating a path to the doctors for all sorts of things!

She actually persuaded the NHS to provide her with an operation on both feet to 'straighten' her 'deformed toes.  I had to care for her when she then  was on crutches for a couple of weeks.  She was told the op was unnecessary (her feet were just the shape of mine, no problem at all, get you from A to B etc!) but she harrassed the doc and wrote huge pages on how her feet affected her life and self esteem therefore eventually she got the op done!  She then wanted it done again but they said NOO!   

[trainwreck4]

Oh Hopeangel!  That must have been awful!  Do you find that she has "flare ups" of medical issues?  Since September we have has menstrual issues, thyroid, breathing, allergies, headaches, bowel obstructions, torn ligaments in knees... .   Mind you she has not been flirting with eating disorders or cutting, so this is the lesser of evils I guess?  I wonder what the long term ramifications are for your daughters toes?  Yikes!

[hopeangel]

Im not sure how it will affect her long-term, all the other patients on the ward were elderley having genuine bunions done, god only knows what the nurses thought!

We do have periods of extra hypochondria flare ups, we are told of menstrual problems, teeth and gum troubles, strange pains, skin troubles for which she will need a peeling treatment involving my caring for her for weeks again! (maybe that's all off now though because she doesn't like me right now for no reason that I can fathom!)

[jellibeans]

The point where I first realized there was something not right with my daughter is when she faked being unconscious and I had to call the ambulance... . they thought she had Meningitis but after doing a spinal tap and other painful tests they could find nothing wrong with her... . that is when the light went off... . she had always faked illness to stay home from school but his was very different. To this day it is very hard for me to believe when she is sick.

I think this is really a coping skill she has used... . usually when things are very stressful... . it is easy to faint at school... . make herself throw up... . I have seen it all... . when they learn how to tolerate the stress and the discomfort they will use these coping skill less.

[MammaMia]

Munchausen Syndrome is when a patient feigns illness and Munchausen by Proxy is when a parent either actually makes the child sick or thinks the child is sick to get attention for himself or herself.

I have been accused of Munchausen by Proxy by my dBPDs.  He is fine... . I am crazy. 

[hopeangel]

Oh I thought that was Munchausen's-by-proxy but I could be wrong on that?

[hopeangel]

Sorry - you just said that, I got confused (not unusual  )

[trainwreck4]

Munchausen by proxy is something that scares me for the future. With all her issues, attention seems to be her goal, but with this one I am afraid that I will be out of sympathy and energy when she really is sick. She is certainly known to all our local emergency rooms and doctors... .   Mamamia, I too have had people say to me that there is nothing wrong with that wonderful girl, there must be something wrong with you! 

  jellibeans, I too think it is a coping strategy, but until people stop feeding into it, it just gets worse... .   And she has figured out how to get the full treatment at emerge without getting admitted to the psych ward

[MammaMia]

trainwreck

People are just showing their ignorance by saying that to you.  They do NOT see the child you do and probably never will.

Ignore them.  YOU know the truth.

[Verbena]

My DD28 has faked sick for as long as I can remember, most recently last weekend when she was supposed to go out of town with me to her cousin's bridal shower.  A simple text from me the night before telling her what time I wanted to leave resulted in this response from her:  "I told you I was going.  I am planning on going.  I will be going."  I figured all along she would get "sick" but never told her that.  I guess she read my mind. Despite her exclamation- free text (she only uses periods when she's angry), sure enough she was "up all night throwing up" and therefore couldn't go the next day. 

Strep throat was a common ailment when she was a teenager.  One year she claimed to have strep about eight times.  Later, her go-to illness  became migraines.  She would claim to be incapacitated from the pain yet was fully able to text, talk on the phone, and even rage at people on the phone.  She still does this and even posts on Facebook that she is suffering from yet another migraine. 

In reality, my DD is very rarely sick.  She just needs the attention and/or can't get out of bed because she is exhausted from staying up late.  I think keeping up the facade of covering the BPD also exhausts her.  It's so sad. 

Can you speak with the nurses/doctors and tell them what you think is going on?  I understand that you don't want to deny her medical care if she truly needs it, but what she is doing is a real drain on the system--and you.  It's basically fraud. 

Maybe when she is the one picking up the tab for co-pays and deductibles, she will decide she's not so sick. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[trainwreck4]

Verbena I forgot about all the migraines. Fortunately in Canada we don't pay for our medical care but I work in our health care system and it is stretched beyond its limits. Even the ambulance we called may have been needed while it was transporting her for a real emergency in our little town. I have tried asking them to use caution with her rotating medical problems, and have specifically asked them not to prescribe meds without us knowing. Not because we don't want her treated, but because she cannot be trusted with meds. It came to light the other day that she has enough antidepressants to medicate our entire household. We keep our meds locked up... .

  I just wish the school, the doctors, etc would quit feeding into these delusions. And I am drained from all the drama. Honestly after her performance this week, I don't want to see her :'(

[BioAdoptMom3]

Oh yes - DD14 has had more "illnesses" and injuries than I can count.  She is an avid softball player - started playing t-ball at the age of 4 and already has a major university looking at her, but she cannot stay out of Urgent Care so she'll never make it unless this gets corrected!  She broke her nose playing about 3 years ago and though it has healed, she complains all the time that she needs to go to a cosmetic surgeon because she cannot breathe right.  We went to one who said she really shouldn't have surgery until the age of 16 because of growth, but now she wants another one because she does not agree.  I cannot tell you how many times we have been to the chiropractor with her or lately, her pediatrician.  She misses an average of a day per week of school. She was in the gifted program at school - all A's and 1 B last report card, very talented and exceptionally well behaved (most of our issues center around suicidal ideation and being bullied) but is in an alternative school for girls because of attendance issues.  I am not sure if she is faking, exaggerates her symptoms or gets a little pain and really is terrified that she is seriously ill or injured. DH and I are not sure how to handle it and her therapist has not been able to provide much help to us either. 

[trainwreck4]

Thank you everyone for replying. I am really thinking that this should be something that is addressed as part of their therapy. It seems common with many of our kids, and I wonder if this issue was faced, would it help?  My BPD17 seems to rotate through hypochindria, self harm, eating disorders, and suicidal ideation. There are small sections of no issues, and those are when I sit there and wonder if I imagined the rest of it?  Her episode this week ended predictably with her refusing testing and I would put money on it being because there was NOTHING WRONG!  But what happens if I call her on it?  Has anyone ever called their child out on this?  What happened?  Is it real to them like the abuse they accuse us of?  Because when she accused us of abuse, she didn't want us to know, and when we and our other kids were questioned, the abuse was unfounded... .   And at the time I figured she didn't want us to know, because she knew we could prove otherwise!  Sometimes I wish I could stop thinking about all this. Its crazy-making.

[stevielin]

Hi iam new at posting have a  son 22 BPD whose. Also has freq illness perhaps they are ways of coping but like your last post (trainwreck)  due we as parents using dbt skills bring it up"call him  on it? Would not want to miss an illness but in my sons case so much of it fevers sweating could be from drug use trying very hard to tolerate my distress while saying things like sorry you dont feel well again and suggesting that he call his doctor and make an appt,if you continue not to feel well.  However it often make me feel like i am enabling but i also dont want to acuse him of lying he really has is a very loving and emotional and does things that harm himself .however like all of you we try so hard to not show how this is tearing us up and feel helpless. Unfort right. Now my son is in denial that he has BPD an is not in therapy just seeing psychatrist1x per month

[Verbena]

Hi iam new at posting have a  son 22 BPD whose. Also has freq illness perhaps they are ways of coping but like your last post (trainwreck)  due we as parents using dbt skills bring it up"call him  on it? Would not want to miss an illness but in my sons case so much of it fevers sweating could be from drug use trying very hard to tolerate my distress while saying things like sorry you dont feel well again and suggesting that he call his doctor and make an appt,if you continue not to feel well.  However it often make me feel like i am enabling but i also dont want to acuse him of lying he really has is a very loving and emotional and does things that harm himself .however like all of you we try so hard to not show how this is tearing us up and feel helpless. Unfort right. Now my son is in denial that he has BPD an is not in therapy just seeing psychatrist1x per month

I went along with the fake illnesses for many, many years (DD lived with us until she was 26), but a couple of times I did call her on it.  The explosion was so not worth it.  Of course, her reaction sort of proved my point.  How can you rage if you are in the throes of a migraine? 

[jaynebrain]

My dd 20 has had many strange illnesses over the years (asthma with breathing treatments, GERD, torn ligaments in ankles several times, a sprained thumb! Burst ear drums, PMDD and everything is so extreme - I feel badly for her and those others with BPD.  They feel everything so deeply, doesn't it make sense that they feel it dramatically physically too?  They battle every day to get through just the basics that the rest of us get through without any effort at all.  Their bodies must be exhausted and spent.  Some years ago a therapist told me that Depression is a form of a compromised immunity system.  On the other hand, I am over all of the Dr bills and that everything is a big emergency, in addition the therapist appointments and such. My dd does not take great care of herself and that of course makes her prone to illnesses.  Learning to sit on my hands - it helps so much to hear that other parents are struggling too.

[Tim300]

My ex-fiancee and her mother (both BPD) very regularly claimed to have physical illnesses.  And they loved going to the Emergency Room (ER) anytime they could.  Within 1 year there were 4 ER visits between the 2 of them.  My ex was diagnosed with a "common cold" at the final ER visit before we broke up.  When either of them went to the ER for any reason, I was expected to stop whatever I was doing and coddle my ex at the ER and for at least 24 hours after.  If I didn't comply with this I would hear complaints for weeks about how I'm a bad person.  It seems like this attention-seeking behavior and distorted thinking is symptomatic of Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) and Munchausen Syndrome.

Regarding the migraines mentioned in above posts, my ex did complain of these.  And she was shocked that I've never just "had a headache" randomly during my life.  I suspect that the migraines are real and symptomatic of the mental turmoil they're constantly in.       

[enlighten me]

I have spent a bit of time looking into BPD and their illnesses. My ex wife complained of joint pains, migranes, bowel problems, ME, anaemia to name but a few. Some I believe were genuine and caused by BPD as there is a lot of evidence pointing towards hormone imbalances which could give the symptoms described vy her.

Then there are the attention seeking ones. If she had read about something or a character in a soap opera had something she would all of a sudden have it.

Far more worrying though was her form of munchausens by proxy where she would make things up about the children, mainly our eldest to get attention. She would say they had been misbehaving so that I would tell them off.

It is easy to dismiss all their illnesses due to BPD but theres a number of threads here that show comorbid illnesses/ symptoms that seem to be common with BPD.

[Worried Mom23]

I am new to this site and to even realizing what BPD is... my 25 yr old daughter not diagnosed has always used illness as a way of getting out of things or for attention.  I was fascinated to find this thread and now wonder if this isn't part of the BPD.  Its funny how if someone in the same room even mentions a headache or a tummy ache, she will speak up with the same problem but much worse or even something worse.  She has been fired from one job for missed work due to illness and quit before being fired from 4 other jobs, and once again is in the hot seat of her present job due to absence.  She will even go as far as going to the dr to make her absence excused.  I am reading everything I can get my hands on about this disorder trying to arm myself with knowledge.  My daughter will probably never be diagnosed because I don't ever see her going to a counselor,  she counseled when she was 16 for an abusive relationship which she is still back and forth with this same guy.  He has been diagnosed with ODD and im pretty certain he is BI-Polar as well. I would call her high functioning so I don't see her being hospitalized and forced into any type of counseling.  Im also certain if I did get her into counseling as soon as they said something she didn't like they would be dumb and they would be the ones with the problem and she wouldn't return. I love her with all that I am however I don't like her so much. She just called me this morning with a headache... last night it was a tummy ache... .2 days ago it was an ear ache.  Its always something.  I am at least getting a little comfort knowing that there is a name to what she has, not diagnosed like I said but Im 99.9% sure, she fits all but 1 of the 9 symptoms and fits them to a T.