I'm new here

[BPD mom 2015]

Hi this is my first time here.  I just recently found out my daughter has BPD.   I am so lost on how to help her.   Just thought this may be a place to start.   

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi BPD mom 2015

BPD can be quite a challenging disorder to deal with. How did you find out your daughter has BPD? Has she been officially diagnosed?

I can understand why the realization of your daughter having BPD can make you feel lost. There is hope though. Certain people with BPD have through therapy managed to better deal with their difficult thoughts and emotions and as a result improved their behavior. For this to happen it is important that the person fully acknowledges that there might be something wrong with him/her and commits to working on his/her issues. When you consider your daughter, would you say she acknowledges her issues? is she in therapy right now or do you think she would be willing to start therapy?

One form of therapy that has been proven to be effective for certain people with BPD is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Are you familiar with DBT? You can read more about it here:

Understanding DBT from the Inside Out

Here's an excerpt:

DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) is a form of cognitive behavior therapy, which is a branch of psychotherapy that focuses on bringing together behavioral therapy and cognitive therapy.

Behavioral therapy comes from classical conditioning to encourage positive behavior and eliminate negative behavior.

... .

Behavioral therapy can be useful for breaking thought patterns and encouraging good behavior, but doesn’t do a whole lot for emotional problems.

Cognitive therapy is much more internally focused, in which the therapist seeks to help the patient change problematic thoughts. Often the therapist will challenge the patient’s flawed assumptions and encourage them to change problematic thought loops. The concept is that over time, changing assumptions and the resultant changed behaviors will result in overall reduction of negative feelings.

The dialectical aspect of DBT comes from the balance of these two schools of thought, changing behaviors along with thought patterns; as well as balancing the dialect of radical acceptance paired with dynamic change. Loosely put, you’re okay just as you are, and here’s what you can do to get better. Without any acceptance of self, there is little reason to hope for someone to believe they, or their situation, are worthy of improvement. The belief that one is hopelessly bad or that their situation is impossible, can be one of the greatest inhibitors to progress, because it provides a fallback position from which to reject any kind of treatment.

PS. I think you're right about this being a good place to start

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, BPD mom 2015 & I'd like to join Kwamina in welcoming you to this site 

How old is your daughter? Does she live at home? If not, do you see her often? Is she still in school? Or, is she an adult? Are there any grandchildren? It's great that you've found us, and I agree with Kwamina that you've made a great start by posting on this Board.

The next step is to check out every single link to the right-hand side of this page, and to also read the Feature Articles at the top of this Board's main page (under the 4 photos at the top of the thread listings). Every one of those Features are excellent and will give you a wonderful overview of how your daughter's mind works, and tips on how you can help her make things better, for both of you--and for your whole family.

Please tell us more of your story, BPD mom 2015, and read all you can around here... .We'd love to help you 

[Thursday]

 

Thursday

[Mama-san]

Hi BPD Mom 2015,

Welcome!  You are taking an important step to reach out to others and seek information. Good for you.

I'm new to the site as well however we have been dealing with BPD for many years.  You have my deepest empathy.      I recall the feeling of finding our D-36 had been given the borderline diagnosis then discovered the disastrous prognosis.  It was frightening! What I have found over time is that there IS help available and the prognosis is not all gloom and doom.  If you are a reader focus on more recent publications to keep your perspective.

I encourage you to look into a free class by the NEA-BPD (Nat'l Education Alliance on Borderline Personality Disorder) called Family Connections which will provide clear education about the disorder and, very importantly, how to better manage living with your loved one.