Laws that are broken by BPDs durring break up

[SlyQQ]

Thought it might be instructive ( so people may know what to expect and protect themselves according) to give some examples on what laws BPD may break after a break up My partial list perjury slander extortion fraud asault falsifying eveidence ( tried to frame me with police ) - no physical attacks 

[Ripped Heart]

It's important to understand that this list doesn't necessarily apply to pwBPD only. However, due to an unstable sense of self, it's quite possible that the likelihood increases with a pwBPD given other defining factors too.

It is more likely that pwBPD may begin a smear campaign against you and this is usually down to not being able to take responsibility for their own actions. If their actions are negative, there is a higher chance of them slandering because the negative feelings they have need to be projected. Likewise, they can very well be angry at the end of a relationship because they feel abandoned and you are being held accountable for that abandonment.

It's a similar situation around falsifying evidence. I saw it with my exBPDgf towards her exbf. The thing to remember is that to pwBPD feelings = facts, not facts = facts. So when they feel they have been wronged in some way, it must be true even if the evidence dictates otherwise. The falsifying of evidence is to bring into line that facts = their feelings. I think this is perhaps one of the more worrying aspects at the end of a relationship because pwBPD is not actually going to all that trouble to get you in trouble. They do it because they truly believe it's the truth simply because their feelings are telling them, therefore it has to be true.

For some it may be a case of needing to keep that attachment. Positive or negative actions that get a reaction is still a reaction and still keeps an attachment going.

Putting together a list of things to look out for following a breakup from pwBPD is a great idea in alerting people of what to look out for. I think equally as important is trying to understand the behaviours behind these things too as its through understanding that we learn how to approach the situation should it arise and now not to fall into the trap.

For example, my exN/BPDw was an expert at slander and smear campaigns. Me, not knowing any better and knowing they were lies, would keep going back time and time again to clear my name and prove what she was saying was not true. Of course, to her that's what she wanted me to do because it meant I kept going back. Understanding why she was doing it, enabled me to break that pattern. My part in that cycle was that I always felt I had to clear my name and prove my innocence. Once I stopped caring about what she had to say and accepted that people could choose whether or not to believe her words, she realised it didn't affect me and stopped doing it therefore breaking that pattern.

[pilgrim]

Bigamy - you find out after divorcing that there were other undivorced spouses before you (happened to me).

Also you could ask: how many of the 10 commandments did they violate?  Well at least mine didn't worship idols, though you never know . . .

[ogopogodude]

Videotape.

This is what to do to "prepare" for a break up or such.

Know your iPhone, know your ipad. Know your whatever device that you record on.

Know where the buttons are. 

Always have a full charge.

Always have "memory room" on your device.

If buying a new phone, one must ALWAYS but the device with the MOST gigabytes storage. Do not settle for the entry level memory cell phone.  The gigabyte storage may seem like enuf, ... .trust me, ... it ain't.

Then ... ."Practice".  Practice how to videotape efficiently and effectively.

Get a car cam.  Both front and rear. If he/she (your ex) is goofy enuf, ... there will be stalking involved. This will document it.

Then, ... .back it (the video evidence) up onto a USB memory stick, or portable hard drive. Then store it off site somewhere.

There is nothing ... .NOTHING like evidence of breaking the law. It can be seemingly blackmail-able, call it whatever you like.

But I call it protecting oneself.

I am the video king.

The only  thing that I stopped short of, was putting a chest mounted Go-Pro on my body.  But I seriously considered it.

[ogopogodude]

Oh, ... .one more thing.

DO not feel guilty of videotaping nonsense behaviour.

And do not feel weirded out by doing the above.

One will at first.

That feeling quickly dissipates.

[raisins3142]

The one law broken several here have brought up is lying about STD status.  Folks don't know that especially if someone asks, you have to disclose.  No way a BPD would risk rejection by being honest when it comes to someone else's health.