Introduction from Butterflygirl

[Butterflygirl]

I want to introduce myself. I am the mother of a 44-year old son who has been diagnosed with BPD. His name is K.

On the first day of pre-school they called me in to deal with my son who had pushed another student. He was out of control.

In Kindergarten they insisted I take K to therapy. Even though he was 6 years old they told me he had all the signs of BPD and that I had given away all my power and could never get it back. They suggested I try finding a father-figure. I turned to my brother-in-law who I found out later was a pedophile.

Thus began years of student-parent counseling and trips to the therapist. He only got worse. Today I am reading out for help because he is getting violent. When I say no to requests for money he trashes my apartment and once he hit me.

I am codependent which complicates everything. I feel guilty when I say no and I worry about his safety all the time. He has been arrested seven times for disturbing the peace. I bailed him out even though I was told not to.

I joined a group ten years ago called "Codependent Parents Anonymous, but it was the blind leading the blind. We were all stuck at that place where we understand BPD through our research, but still could not stand up for ourselves.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi Butterfly Girl

Thanks for introducing yourself. Welcome to bpdfamily

You clearly have been through a lot with your son. Being the mother of a child with BPD can be quite challenging indeed. He's been officially diagnosed so at least you do know what you're dealing with. You've taken your son to counseling and the therapist, did he ever get targeted treatment for his BPD such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?

Today I am reading out for help because he is getting violent. When I say no to requests for money he trashes my apartment and once he hit me.

This part of your post I find very concerning. Do you feel safe around him? Perhaps it will help to take a look at some information we have here about creating a crisis safety plan:

Crisis Safety Plan: When a family member has Borderline Personality Disorder

Take care

[kelti1972]

Welcome butterfly girl.  My history is really complicated too.  I believe there is no hopeless case.  Thank you for sharing and keep coming here to learn, grow and share with us!  Kelti