"treat me like a joke & ill leave like its funny"

[sun seeker]

 Hi all

Hope everyone is staying N/C.

Just got to thinking today about the B/U with my dexpbdgf ,  my healing , my self-esteem. I used to have unbendable boundaries. And I do again today. I prove to myself on a daily basis.

I have a dangerous job  where we have to work in pairs for safety. ( he's a new guy) My coworker said some very direpectfull things at the end of the day , Putting me down (or putting  in my place) it made no sense because we had a great day . Boy did I stop his crap dead in its tracks  immediatley! Was just a natural reaction again.  I can feel Alpha male status is back in full swing. 

It felt good to stand up for myself today like I always used to. My self esteem couldnt take another hit after a BPD r/s.

I felt this same sensation when I just walked away from my dxBPDgf I didnt know it at the time im taking MY life.back and all that it encompasses.  im feeling like an improved version of myself more and more.

  As most here my dexBPDgf has a broken moral compass and treated our two year r/s with little regard at times . When i hit my (rock bottom) i just walked out of her life . I didnt feel the need to say a word. She didnt deserve anything from me. I gave all her all of me... Closer would never happen with my dexBPDgf .  Our r/s was all her selfish need for supply and soothing .Dont get me wrong We did have awesomen moments . We never had a chance for a healthy r/s. And I am ok with this today.

  My dexBPDgf has helped me more than she hurt me at this point in my healing. If it wasn't for having a BPD r/s i would have not been so fortunate to have my  repressed childhood issues come to the surface so i can work on them.  I feel better than I did before the r/s.

Im going to write a thank you letter to my dexBPDgf when im ready( it will never be sent) this is for me.

[LimboFL]

Amen to that Sun seeker! Absolutely agree.

The beauty is that we can stay good people while ensuring that no one ever crosses the line again.

I suspect that I will remain perplexed as to how I allowed the woman I spent four years with to trample all over my boundaries but that ship has sailed.

Ultimately, though, we haven't changed that much, it's just that our former selves are being resurrected. My moral and ethical foundation is no different today than it was 4 years ago. We are just finding ourselves again and it is empowering. I think I am going to burn my bra. !

It is quite sad that there are so many a holes in the world. It would be a much better planet if we could just banish them. However, there is an exceptional satisfaction with putting them in their place, as we did with our exBPDgf's. I will always deeply love her but I deserve better and karma is a bi##.

We exited with grace or at least proud. In fact, as compared to the initial break up, I was almost glad for the brief recycle, because I handled that with class and did not utter a single insult, except for indifferent disapproval. "You lied, please don't ever contact me again".

As long as we exit with class and our heads are held high... .

[Loosestrife]

I've unfortunately recycled but I am getting ready for the next time, as there will be a next time. I agree whole heartedly that these relationships teach us a hell of a lot about ourselves. I'm keeping my lessons /learning for me and not sharing them with my BPDSO as I have realised that doing things for me is something I need to start doing again. 

[DyingLove]

Great to hear it all sun seeker.

Never take crap from anyone on the job!  I went through a career for 20 years that left me a broken, anxiety ridden person. I SWORE I would not ever let that happen again... .and I didn't.

I already wrote my ex a letter, when I was still under the same roof.  I was gonna give it... .but I didn't.  I think I'm getting stronger by the day... .baby steps... .you are right... .how can you care for someone like this!

[sun seeker]

 Thanks dying , limbo , looses.

Dying

always great to hear from you. yes you are getting stronger its leapingn off the pages at me. Keep up the good work. You are doing fantastic.

Glad to hear all you guys are staying positive .

This is such a hard way to learn a lesson. Atleast i learned there for my time was not wasted. 

Limbo

You hit the nail on the head. Awesome post.  Burn that bra sister!  . It does feel amazing that we exited the BPDers life with grace. People in genral need to relaize that WE have to live with or  OWN actions, words etc.  for the rest of OUR lifes. The better choices we make the easier it is to live with. Duh. 

  Right now im going through the weekend "blues".

Same story missing companionship  a great deal. The thing is I have the power of knowledge on my side . I let the feelings flow and process them to my best ability. And i have great people to share with You guys.   . Thank you for the support, sharing, and not being judgmental.

Looses.

We all have recycled its ok.  Dont be hard on yourself. We all have our own leval of hurt we choose to accept ,  once you have reach your (rock bottom) the recycles will stop. And you will being the very hard process of healing... Healing Is way easier than staying in a toxic BPD r/s.

  Man what a journey this is. We are all so dam strong I feel like im ready to take on the world. 

"Come at me bro"   

[jhkbuzz]

 

Limbo

... .It does feel amazing that we exited the BPDers life with grace. People in general need to realize that WE have to live with our OWN actions, words etc.  for the rest of OUR lives. The better choices we make the easier it is to live with. Duh.  

That!  ^^

That's the thought that kept me on the high road throughout the end of the r/s and post b/u... .and kept me from acting on angry or revengeful impulses. Today I look in the mirror and like myself (and am proud of myself) because I took the high road during what were the most unhappy, stressful years of my life. My ability to do that says something about my character.

I often wonder how my ex will ever process the shame she feels at her behavior during our r/s - I think she finds it unbearable, so she dissociates.

And that ^^ will make her increasingly unstable over time. It's actually very sad.