Hello, jaytee55 &

I'm so sorry that your daughter is having problems, and that her behaviors are causing you so much concern and sadness... . I'm sure that dealing with her disorder is also confusing at times, too. I have an adult (38) son who was diagnosed with BPD 2 years ago, and though his problems were often tragic and horrible (he suffered from a multi-year Heroin addiction just prior to diagnosis and treatment), once he was diagnosed and treated things got better.
I can tell you that learning about BPD (for my son
and for me) and figuring out how his mind works, and then putting into practice the communication tools & techniques listed in the
TOOLS on the right-hand side of this page, really ended up making things better for him, myself, and our whole family. I really would like to recommend that you check those links out, and also
THE LESSONS linked to on the right side of this page.
I can't tell you strongly enough how much learning all of those things helped me to help my son in his recovery (from drug addiction and also his BPD). He really is doing very well now; he is more than 2 years clean and sober from his addiction, and is much better with handling his BPD "episodes", to the point that he doesn't really have them anymore, actually.
Does your daughter live with you? If not, do you see her very often? Is she in a romantic relationship at this time? What does she do that troubles her--and you? Does she realize that she has a problem, and would she seek help for it? We have a series of Feature Articles, located under the 4 photos at the top of this Board's thread listing page (and you can also find them here:
When a teen or adult child has BPD). One of those articles is titled:
How to get a Borderline into Therapy, and I think it would be particularly helpful for you to read... . The title is "clickable" and will take you to that information. I highly recommend it to you for a good primer as to helping your daughter make progress.
I'm very happy you found us, jaytee55, and want you to know that we all know
exactly what you are going through, and want to help... . Please tell us more of your story, read all you can on this site, and ask us your questions. We are here for you