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Author Topic: 6 hour talk with my mom  (Read 549 times)
Blimblam
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« on: April 24, 2015, 04:36:26 AM »

So about once a month I have a 6 hour talk with my mom at about 5.5 hours in esch time I break through her defences and help her make a bunch of connectis about her behavior and patterns in her life.  Then as a defence mechenisms she will just fall asleep. Then the next time I talk to her the enablers and her reinforce the imaginary reality she was in once again.  Each time we get a little deeper though and this time it was sort of a major breakthrough and we made huge connections in patterns that she was unconciously sort of communicating throughout the entire conversation.  Before she fell asleep I told her that this happens each time and by the next conversation her memory blocks it out. She believes me but I am improving my skills at navigating the conversation when she begins to cover it back up by making it about an "other," once again to deflect and split her self.
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123Phoebe
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« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2015, 07:01:32 AM »

So about once a month I have a 6 hour talk with my mom at about 5.5 hours in esch time I break through her defences and help her make a bunch of connectis about her behavior and patterns in her life. 

6 hour long phone conversations?  Shew, I don't know Blimblam, I think I'd be snoozing long before that last 1/2hr.

She believes me but I am improving my skills at navigating the conversation when she begins to cover it back up by making it about an "other," once again to deflect and split her self.

In what ways are your navigation skills improving her?
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Blimblam
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« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2015, 02:28:20 PM »

So about once a month I have a 6 hour talk with my mom at about 5.5 hours in esch time I break through her defences and help her make a bunch of connectis about her behavior and patterns in her life. 

6 hour long phone conversations?  Shew, I don't know Blimblam, I think I'd be snoozing long before that last 1/2hr.

She believes me but I am improving my skills at navigating the conversation when she begins to cover it back up by making it about an "other," once again to deflect and split her self.

In what ways are your navigation skills improving her?

Trust me a 6 hour long conversation with ones own mother that has BPD is not easy for me it's intense and she is very intense it only extends that length because that's how long it takes to actually get through all her defences.  The severity of her BPD is on the higher end perhaps a severe case and she is suicidal.

By navigation I mean by avoiding the circular arguments and defence mechenisms to actually arrive at that space of lucid self reflection it is not easy to get to that space with anyone much less somone with BPD.

She calls me to validate some false reality and goes on and on about the reality she created with her enablers.  Except I made it a boundary to not validate such a reality and over the course of the conversation she is butting up against that boundary at every moment for 5.5 hours with all the intensity of a outward acting pwBPD and OCD which ups the intensity level.
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