excessive talking good or bad?

[shatterd]

Towards the bitter end of my relatonship i found myself always talking alot! Idk why i was trigerd i guess, i was feeling the loss way b4 it came perhaps. I knew she was lieng about evreything and became very distant, sound familar?   

[an0ught]

Hi shatterd,

when people are stressed they tend to loose control of what they say. They either become tense and talk in small burst or they can't stop at all and it becomes a monologue. This is all normal but leaves the question how to recover. There is research which indicates that writing your thoughts down in a deep reflected manner i.e. not a spontaneous stream of consciousness can help one to get better.

It seems that writing is really useful for recovery and talking to friends just won't help has much.

Prof. Richard Wiseman in his book :59 seconds (website: www.59seconds.wordpress.com/ ) wrote:

A group of participants were asked to select a negative experience [... .] One group of participants were then asked to have a long chat with a supportive experimenter (* ) about the event, while a second group were invited to chat about a far more mundane topic - a typical day. [... .] Participants who had spent time talking about their traumatic event thought the chat had been helpful. However, the various questionnaires told a very different story. In reality the chat had no significant impact at all. [... .] they might just as well have been chatting about a typical day.

In several studies, participants who have experienced a traumatic event have been encouraged to spend just a few minutes each day writing in a diary-type account of their deepest thoughts and feelings about it [12]. For example, in one study participants who had just been made redundant were asked to reflect upon their deepest thoughts and feelings about their job loss, including how it had affected both their personal and professional lives. Although these types of exercises were  both speedy and simple, the results revealed a remarkable boost in their psychological and physical well-being, including a reduction in health problems and an increase in self-esteem and happiness. The results left psychologists with something of a mystery. Why would talking about a traumatic experience have almost no effect but writing about it yield such significant benefits?

From a psychological perspective, talking and writing are very different. Talking can often be somewhat unstructured, disorganized, even chaotic. In contrast, writing encourages the creation of a story line and structure that help people make sense of what has happened and work towards a solution... .

[12] for a review of this work, see S. J. Lepore and J.M. Smyth (eds). The Writing Cure: How Expressive Writing Promotes Health and Emotional Well-Being. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association

(* ) not a T