Email from my Sister

T,

After a great deal of thought and with significant apprehension, I've decided to write to you ONE time and attempt to give you (again) the information you have asked for. As I sit here and reread you numerous texts, I'm astonished at the way you approach your life and your relationships.

It is very, very clear to me that you are not aware of the impact your words have on other people, and in this instance, the impact they have on me whether you are aware of it or not, whether you understand it or not. You say you are reaching out with love hoping for contact and more active relationships and yet almost everything you say and do decrease any chance that will ever happen. When I don't respond you start bombarding me with texts I find offensive - which certainly doesn't make me want to respond to you. I find your comments provocative, aggressive, attacking and mean.

I don't doubt that you suffer greatly T. That is clear in much of what you say and in your interactions. I am truly sorry that you, now at middle age, have been unable to make peace with your past - both family dynamics impacting you and other factors. And, at the same time, I accept no responsibility for your suffering and it is not my responsibility to fix it - whether we ever speak to or see each other again. If you have anxiety or panic attacks, it's because you have difficulty managing your emotions, it is NOT because I am not talking with you. If you feel suicidal, it's not because of anything I have done, or A has done, it's because you don't know how to take care of yourself. You have been talking about and sending links pertaining to Family PTSD. I'd recommend you check out the borderline website https://bpdfamily.com/. You might find that to be helpful.

Your accusations and demands are exhausting and quite frankly, ridiculous. First of all, you aren't responsible for my PAST employment with AMH (btw, I haven't worked there for years). And, the fact that you would say so is just odd and a funny way of thinking. I have a full life - I love parenting G, my relationship with W is better than ever (and how dare you accuse him of abusing me - again RIDICULOUS and insulting to both him and to me.) I have a number of deep, satisfying relationships with friends. My communications with others is satisfying and pretty much conflict free.

Your assumption that I'm hiding something, in great pain, etc. etc. etc. is based on absolutely nothing but the fact that I don't talk with you. Why not consider the fact that I don't talk with you, have contact with you, because of the way that you communicate. I find your communication style to be verbally abusive.

I wish you the best, T. I hope you find your way to a more peaceful existence but it won't be with my involvement. I would appreciate it if you would stop contacting me. I am not willing to continue this kind of badgering. You said if I responded you would stop and after I did via text yesterday, you proceeded to contact me an additional 19 times. I, again, ask that you stop contacting me. I don't expect, need or even want you to agree with me. I won't respond to you again.



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