She Still Wants Her Cake

[Turkish]

I've had to have a let of contact with our kids' mom lately due to me reporting her 17 yo brother for probably molesting D3 (with S5 as a witness). All in all, the kids are safe now. That her family hates me was expected. She did the right thing (and luckily the kids told her the same story they told me).

I've spent some time with her and her affair partner, now husband. They got married last week (so much for her family's theory I called the cops to get back at her because she was getting married 

S5 graduated pre-K on Friday. The OM isn't my favorite person in the world, but I'm civil, because it isn't about me, it's about the kids. She texted me the night before, "is it ok if [my husband] comes?" Am I still Daddy? *sigh* I said yes.

He still calls me Mr. Turkish, which intially bugged me, but now amuses me. I am old enough to be his father. I initially ignored them and him when I showed up to the school. I was busy coralling D3. They brought the kids. OM went off by himself. Based upon recent events, I understand that he helps us all be keeping her stable. So I sought him out and talked. he made a passing comment about her. He might have rolled his eyes. Reality now, dude.

After the ceremny, she wanted to take pictures of me, S5, and him together. This is where I asserted a boundary, "no, you can take seperate pics,.and I don't want you taking pics of me and the kids." She complied. She's taken pics of me in the past, no doubt to post to her FB to show in her mind what a good dad I am, but more for her own validation. No. I'm not going to pose with her affair partner cum husband to soothe her guilt... .

After the celebration of mediocrity graduation (hey, I'm cynical, so sue me!), we went to another school to register S5 for kindergarten. OM stayed in the car. As we left, I made sure the kids said goidbye to him, and I shook his hand. Again, I got the "Mr. Turkish." Whatever. Their fantasy is theirs. Just married, and he just moved in. I was amused when she told me last week that she had him scrubbing the pee stains off of their carpet from D3's potty training stage. That's her surgical cleanliness anxiety. His problem now.

All in all, he does us all a favor. I can be kind and patient, with boundaries, but certain boundaries need to remain.

[Mutt]

I can understand how awkward that would feel. I agree with you that it's likely to validate herself more so than validate you as a father. I'm curious if OM was uncomfortable with her request?

[Turkish]

I can understand how awkward that would feel. I agree with you that it's likely to validate herself more so than validate you as a father. I'm curious if OM was uncomfortable with her request?

Hard to tell. She took their picture. Obviously I'm biased, but given everything in the past few weeks, I think he's in over his head. He made a passing comment when I talked to him about S5 lying (Ex accused him of something rather than being wisemind about S5), something like,."you know her... ." he signed up for it. She told me the night before about the incident, and I told her I'd be pissed off if she had accused me of that off the bat rather than sorting it out first. I told her that I wouldn't put up with that. Rescuer?