HI there, I think I experience similar situations. My wife sometimes speaks loudly (fact that our 3 kids are around then does not make much of a difference when she is upset - means 80% of the time) and accuses me of screaming when I just speak, or change my tone or speak very slightly louder (mostly I start to whisper then - that works a bit).
With my wife it started very romantic too...
read more on my recent long story post My wife speaks Spanish to my kids all the time - good for them I think, however I sometimes am concern that she speaks things which I do not understand, to influence our children (I recently translated - she said something that there are plenty of toys in Colombia for the kids, which in extreme case could be preparing children for an escape, it is hard to believe thought). If I asked her about that she would most likely just scream at me again, go away, so I try a different strategy, to listen closely and translate myself.
Anyway, If you need any translation from German pls let me know. Maybe I can help.
All best