has anyone had a positive response after breaking N/C?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I've been N/C for about 30 days. It feels like it's been forever , I feel good, alot less emotional then I was... but I'm kinda curious what would happen if I attempted to add her on social media? Probably just get declined or ignored but who knows? Has anyone got a positive response after an extended period time of NC? Thanks

[problemsolver]

I've been N/C for about 30 days. It feels like it's been forever , I feel good, alot less emotional then I was... but I'm kinda curious what would happen if I attempted to add her on social media? Probably just get declined or ignored but who knows? Has anyone got a positive response after an extended period time of NC? Thanks

[Beach_Babe]

Who dumped who?

[Pretty Woman]

Don't do it.

This breakup I decided to block her first. I haven't let up. She is blowing up FB with stuff between her and the new girl... .

days after dumping me.

Don't do it. For yourself and for her.  Do not subject yourself to her false happiness. That is what she wants to hurt you.

Don't give her that satisfaction.

[problemsolver]

Who dumped who?

I'd say she made the "final blow" and dumped me.

[JRT]

Chances are that those who have had a positive experience would no longer be here.

[problemsolver]

Chances are that those who have had a positive experience would no longer be here.

fair enough , I suppose I'm looking for someone who may have had an initial positive response , whatever may have happened a month or so after the good response could of brought them back here.

[JRT]

I am not sure if this helps and I am hardly a scientific source... .but I have read various reports here... .at least those that have reported back have been disappointed with themselves for doing so... .the outcome is ordinarily not what that had hoped for in terms of outcome... .I am actually considering breaking NC after 9 months and have been reluctant for this reason; there is little precedent of which I am aware that makes me believe that anything good will come of it... .it might serve to set me back further.

[DyingLove]

The positive things that are happening in my life:

- getting physically better (still happening a ways to go)

- getting mentally better (still happening a ways to go)

- meeting wonderful new people that are NOT afflicted or are upfront about stuff.


Absolutely NOTHING positive regarding the ex whatsoever in the sense of "between her and I".

Amen and Period.

[UserName69]

At one point I did, my rs is was just so crazy. In one period I didn't even know where I stood in her life. She ignored the hell out of me.

We had a fight once, both of us went nc. I was really worried about her because she was suicidal. At some point I decided to call her, I told her that I'm worried about her and het behaviour changed a lot. She told me to F off and hang up on me.

This was the first time when I started to feel hate for her. It made everything easier. I lost all respect for her since. It only reminds me why I hate her, it's impossible to stay with a person with BPD.

At the end she still wanted to be friends, yeah like I would be so desperate.

Don't break nc, you'll get hurt if not she'll play with you and believe me on this one.

I agree with DyingLove; your exBPD has nothing good for you. The more you stick with her the more you'll get hurt. Instead you need move on and focus on a happy life.

I have moved on, I have a wonderful girlfriend and she really makes me happy. Everybody can move on and find new love. You only need to forget totally about your exBPD.

[myself]

The positive I experienced was to see once and for all 100% that this illness makes the person who has it not follow through with loyalty, honesty, friendship, promises, or love. She begged me back, during a lengthy NC which she initiated, saying things would be different, that she'd learned how horrible it was to be without me, etc. The textbook rerun so many of us have been through. But I gave it one more try, feeling it was unfinished between us and maybe we still had a chance. Things were actually pretty great, for awhile, but then right before we were going to be married she moved out again and said goodbye. Intentionally doing much to hurt me on her way out. The positive of without a doubt seeing the truth of her condition helped to not take some of it personally, but the rest still weighs heavily on my heart. She's tried contacting me since then, but I can't go back anymore. Too painful, too disrespectful, too unbalanced, too disordered. Too late.

[rotiroti]

The positive I experienced was to see once and for all 100% that this illness makes the person who has it not follow through with loyalty, honesty, friendship, promises, or love. She begged me back, during a lengthy NC which she initiated, saying things would be different, that she'd learned how horrible it was to be without me, etc. The textbook rerun so many of us have been through. But I gave it one more try, feeling it was unfinished between us and maybe we still had a chance. Things were actually pretty great, for awhile, but then right before we were going to be married she moved out again and said goodbye. Intentionally doing much to hurt me on her way out. The positive of without a doubt seeing the truth of her condition helped to not take some of it personally, but the rest still weighs heavily on my heart. She's tried contacting me since then, but I can't go back anymore. Too painful, too disrespectful, too unbalanced, too disordered. Too late.

Sorry to hear that

how long did the 2nd run last?

[Beach_Babe]

It honestly just depends. There are members here like valet, for example, that have been able to navigate LC successfully. I think (and correct me if I'm wrong) that they waited for the pwBPD to contact them. I'm not sure what would happen if the non broke NC.