Domestic Violence

[Ysabel]

My hw BPD gets violent with me. He recently became so violent that I think he scared himself. He voluntarily started dv counseling. I'm glad for him, but honestly, I'll believe he has changed when I see it. I don't know how pwBPD respond to this kind of intervention. Anyone had experience with this who can comment on what to expect?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ceruleanblue]

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to you. I can't say I know what the likelihood is of his treatment, but at least he's taking action and some responsibility. If he truly has BPD, that may not last. He may end up rewriting history, and justifying his abuse of you. To me, that always seems like insult to injury. If you did it, at least own it.

Did you document the abuse? You need to keep YOU safe. I hope he gets help, but you need to take action, and he needs to know you will take actions necessary to protect yourself, even if it means taking action against him by filing charges next time it happens.

[an0ught]

Protecting yourself is critical. Counseling won't do much by itself but may support change by raising awareness and introducing boundaries. What matters are your boundaries, what you own and do, small and large as they force him to respect you and boundaries/respect are what stops rage.

Be safe