Things he/she said to get you to talk to them.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I'm finding it helpful to read the texts she sent me in the past and reading over them to desensitize myself to her apologies. I can see how she will be very apologetic until I start to talk to her, then she becomes her old self again.

Here's some from the last time she reeled me back in to speaking to her.

"I know I've messed up, and I'm not asking for you back right now. I'm just asking if we'll ever be okay. Is there anything I can do?"

"I promise. No harsh words or placement of blame. I just want an honest conversation."

"I was never using you. I was honest about everything until the end when I said you threatened me. You never did that. But you did scare me sometimes. I'm just terribly sorry beyond the point that you could never understand. I made many mistakes repeatedly and I regret them."

And within a week I get messages like this:

"YOU TOLD ME THAT I DESERVED TO GET MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED. I HAD THE RIGHT TO DO EVERYTHING THAT I DID. YOU'RE LUCKY AS ___ THAT I DIDN'T GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. IF YOU CAN FOLLOW MY ADVICE, THEN WE CAN BE FINE, BUT OTHERWISE LEAVE ME THE ___ ALONE CAUSE YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY IN PUBLIC."

Followed by:

"You need to tell me if you're not going to talk to me anymore".


Something is seriously wrong with me to allow this person to stay in my life. I know this, yet I fall to the "sincere" apologies every time.

She was extremely delusional the last time we were speaking. She kept saying I said things like she deserved to be abused, and kept saying I threatened to hurt her. I'll be honest, I don't know how she can function like this.

What are some tactics that your ex has done to reel you back in?

[Schermarhorn]

I'm finding it helpful to read the texts she sent me in the past and reading over them to desensitize myself to her apologies. I can see how she will be very apologetic until I start to talk to her, then she becomes her old self again.

Here's some from the last time she reeled me back in to speaking to her.

"I know I've messed up, and I'm not asking for you back right now. I'm just asking if we'll ever be okay. Is there anything I can do?"

"I promise. No harsh words or placement of blame. I just want an honest conversation."

"I was never using you. I was honest about everything until the end when I said you threatened me. You never did that. But you did scare me sometimes. I'm just terribly sorry beyond the point that you could never understand. I made many mistakes repeatedly and I regret them."

And within a week I get messages like this:

"YOU TOLD ME THAT I DESERVED TO GET MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED. I HAD THE RIGHT TO DO EVERYTHING THAT I DID. YOU'RE LUCKY AS ___ THAT I DIDN'T GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. IF YOU CAN FOLLOW MY ADVICE, THEN WE CAN BE FINE, BUT OTHERWISE LEAVE ME THE ___ ALONE CAUSE YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY IN PUBLIC."

Followed by:

"You need to tell me if you're not going to talk to me anymore".


Something is seriously wrong with me to allow this person to stay in my life. I know this, yet I fall to the "sincere" apologies every time.

She was extremely delusional the last time we were speaking. She kept saying I said things like she deserved to be abused, and kept saying I threatened to hurt her. I'll be honest, I don't know how she can function like this.

What are some tactics that your ex has done to reel you back in?

[Beach_Babe]

1. Hit self in head

2. Drank rust cleaner

3. Overdosed

4. Threatened to call the police/mafia/local gangbanger to make me talk

5. My dog died

6. My cat died

7. I fell and twisted my ankle again/have ms/aids/ebola/swine flu DONT U CARE

8. I love you.

9. I want to see you.

10. Accused me of stalking them by three way calling with me and Dominos Pizza.

[disorderedsociety]

1. Hit self in head

2. Drank rust cleaner

3. Overdosed

4. Threatened to call the police/mafia/local gangbanger to make me talk

5. My dog died

6. My cat died

7. I fell and twisted my ankle again/have ms/aids/ebola/swine flu DONT U CARE

8. I love you.

9. I want to see you.

10. Accused me of stalking them by three way calling with me and Dominos Pizza.

God I wish mine had done the first 4-5 things, it would make it so much easier to say goodbye in my heart.

[hurting300]

I'm finding it helpful to read the texts she sent me in the past and reading over them to desensitize myself to her apologies. I can see how she will be very apologetic until I start to talk to her, then she becomes her old self again.

Here's some from the last time she reeled me back in to speaking to her.

"I know I've messed up, and I'm not asking for you back right now. I'm just asking if we'll ever be okay. Is there anything I can do?"

"I promise. No harsh words or placement of blame. I just want an honest conversation."

"I was never using you. I was honest about everything until the end when I said you threatened me. You never did that. But you did scare me sometimes. I'm just terribly sorry beyond the point that you could never understand. I made many mistakes repeatedly and I regret them."

And within a week I get messages like this:

"YOU TOLD ME THAT I DESERVED TO GET MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED. I HAD THE RIGHT TO DO EVERYTHING THAT I DID. YOU'RE LUCKY AS THAT I DIDN'T GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. IF YOU CAN FOLLOW MY ADVICE, THEN WE CAN BE FINE, BUT OTHERWISE LEAVE ME THE ALONE CAUSE YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY IN PUBLIC."

Followed by:

"You need to tell me if you're not going to talk to me anymore".


Something is seriously wrong with me to allow this person to stay in my life. I know this, yet I fall to the "sincere" apologies every time.

She was extremely delusional the last time we were speaking. She kept saying I said things like she deserved to be abused, and kept saying I threatened to hurt her. I'll be honest, I don't know how she can function like this.

What are some tactics that your ex has done to reel you back in?

did you tell her (do not contact me) ? Or did you disappear?

[SummerStorm]

When we were friends/sleeping together, it was always, "I miss you." 

After a month of mostly NC, she texted me and said, "I'm not moving anymore.  And my boyfriend and I broke up."  This was the guy she chose over me and the guy she said was her "reason for living," so I'm sure she expected me to say, "I'm so happy.  Please give us another try."  I didn't. 

Most recently, it was, "Would you possibly have a room for rent?  Because I'm about to be homeless."  I said no.

We're LC now.  She never texts first, but she replies to my texts about 85% of the time.  I would say we exchange 5-10 texts a week.  She knows I'm still angry at her, and she's been behaving herself.  When she stops, I'll stop texting her.     

[lovenature]

Told me her mother was not well and just wanted a friend to talk to; I let her in and she proceeds to tell me about some guy in a bar hitting on her, then says she misses my touch and taste.

It is all about them all the time, they don't have regard for your feelings because they aren't capable of empathy.

[myself]

"I miss you. I love you. I learned what it's like to be without you and I don't ever want to be without you again, it hurts too much. Things will be different now. I've calmed down enough and like you again and am ready to talk."

[rotiroti]

Really lucid apology letters to me... .and then my family and friends.

Noped the heck out of there and blocked. That was 3 months ago and now that I'm more detached (it still hurts trust me) it was the best decision of my life

[balletomane]

When we were friends/sleeping together, it was always, "I miss you."   

Same. "I miss you" and "Come here" plus lots of affectionate comments and nicknames.

Once he got interested in the replacement and she began to take up his time, he stopped trying to make conversation with me even on the most basic level. Literally - I would ask "How was your day?" and just get "OK". Nothing else. No attempt at reciprocal chat. That hurts because sometimes it feels like a sign he never gave a damn, I was just there to play with until something better came up. In my last e-mail, after six weeks of trying so hard to maintain a friendship as per his request, I explained that this was part of the reason why I was going NC: I couldn't cope with the hurt and the humiliation of being treated so aloofly by someone who had been my best friend. He replied with, "When you understand why hurting me badly would make me want to distance myself from you, then we can try to be friends again." I haven't heard from him since.

[cm3557]

Mine has done everything. 

-Showed up at my house, entered without knocking/being invited (i have room mates)

-gifts

-long love letters that would melt anyones heart

-so many apologies.  ( emails, texts, voice mails, once called 96 times and sat outside my house the whole night)

-knocking on all doors, literally YELLED UP TO MY WINDOW until i let him in my house

-He'll say things like "if we really felt the way we said, and our love was so special, it deserves an honest conversation, WE deserve it, please talk to me about this"

-SUICIDE THREATS and MORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Im so exhausted from it all. 

[Pretty Woman]

"I have never loved anyone like I've loved you. I don't know why you make me so crazy"-see, still my fault.  

"Please, I promise, I'm not asking to get back together... I just think if we talk it will be good for both our hearts. Let me soothe both our hearts and make things better."  

"You've changed (for the good). I'm so happy you changed (when I really didn't. Same Pretty Woman). This is the "pretty woman" I fell in love with".  

" I just can't stop thinking about you. Even when I was having sex with ________ I couldn't get you out of my head".                            

"I miss you so much".

"I was laying in the hospital bed and wanted to reach out but couldn't bear you rejecting me (she left me for someone and ended up in the hospital with a ruptured disk. My replacement never visited her in the hospital so she painted me white... .while also looking for other supply via match and was still talking with them when we were back together). She proceeded to say, "I never thought you'd speak to me again". Then again she sent a fishing email and that is what I stupidly responded to.

and the last one which I declined and we haven't spoken since... .this after she found my replacement and wanted us all to hang out together and be best buddies.

"We will always be a part of each other's lives. We have matching tattoos. Nothing will change, I promise. You are my best friend and always will be."

[Pretty Woman]

Beach Babe,

   I know it's not funny... .but stalking them three-way between you, them and Domino's Pizza.

I am dying over here... .

I mean how insane is that? It just floors me!

[Beach_Babe]

It is funny. He was bigger than a house. If only i was a salami or rack of lamb *sniff* he would have stayed.