what does the future hold for us?

[Nicey]

My daughter is 17 and has BPD. She has been in various psychiatric hospitals for the last 4 years. There has been some stable periods but there are always set backs and crisis that seem to take us back to square one. On Friday , after the most recent crisis, she was transferred to another hospital more able to cope with her risky behaviour. But this hospital is 6 hours drive away and difficult for us to visit often. As she approaches adulthood I am fearful for her future and how we can help her. At the moment it is a very sad story that the doctors seem only to predict a sad ending to. I'm hoping others might have some more hopeful stories they can share.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

 Hello Nicey,

So glad you are here looking for some hope for your precious d17.

My daughter will be 19 years old this month.  She was diagnosed with emerging BPD amongst other diagnoses at 12 years old.  She still struggles when crisis comes and has improved so much in:

emotional maturity

coping skills

reasoning skills

no longer engages in self injury

We had to go through RTC to achieve these levels of improvement.  Is this something that is being recommended for your daughter?

I look forward to hearing back from you.

lbjnltx

[Butterflygirl]

In all honesty, the only hope I can offer you is your faith. God does have the power to improve things if this is his wish. I have also found hope is optimism. I surround myself affirmations and images of rainbows. The only relief I get is from acceptance one day at a time.

From AA . . . "And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my [situation], I could not stay [sane]; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

I do not mean to imply your child will not get better. That can happen for sure. This quote is just for the bad times. Remember the Serenity Prayer encourages to change what we can.