No Contact is Great but hard

[mm1024]

I am going into week 2 of NC after having NC for almost a month before my BPD almost exhusband decided to email me last week demanding I owe him money to pay his bills in his new home. I havent heard from him since last Monday, however hearing from him last week has put me back into feeling "newly"  dicarded all over again. I also found out over the weekend he has been frequenting places I go to (that he does not), I am told by my thereapist he may be trying to run into me in public, he has a girlfriend so I am confused why he wants contact with me. Has anyone had this experience and any suggestions on how to deal with it are welcome.

Thank you!

[toddinrochester]

I wish I did. Mine suggested the no contact because I think she was tired of me asking how she was coping with this breakup. At the time I didn't put two and two together to realized BPD. I would also be sad and let her know. She had already split me black so at that point didn't care and just wanted to stop hearing about it.

[Mutt]

Hi mm1024,

he has a girlfriend so I am confused why he wants contact with me.

I'm sorry to hear that. I can relate with how confusing that is when our ex partners are in a committed relationship and they are trying to run into to us or checking up on us, BPD is an attachment disorder.

I understand how difficult NC can be, it gets better. Hang in there.

[mm1024]

Thank you Mutt. Yes, it is so hard. Therapy and a great support of friends and family has helped me to gain my strength and move forward. I actually saw him from a far almost a month ago at a traffic light, and my body tensed up and I had a feeling of fear. My therapist says it is like PTSD. Luckily he did not see me.

Toddinrochester, I can say that nc is the way to be able to detach from a BPD. I had a very hard time in the beginning too, I can empathize with you on that.

This forum has been a great place for me to read and know that I am not alone. Thank you.