I think that's as much closure as I'll get

[stacma04]

So I think I finally have closure... .My ex bu with me again for the last time in June, he is now engaged to the OW that he was seeing when we were NC for about 6 months. We bu in June and he was engaged in July. Well we've been NC for about 4 months now. I came across his profile on Instagram with the OW. After seeing him so happy with his kids and her little girl he seems very happy and in love, all there pictures reflect everything we never did as a couple. I'm happy that he is finally happy, and have found the one for him. For the longest time I was really hard on myself as to why he would just break up with me time and time again. From seeing those pictures I think he made the right choice with the women he is engaged to. He still has a picture of him with his kids and my son in one of the pictures, he also calls the Ow's daughter the same nickname him and I would call each other, ( peanut ) along with one of the muppets character that I would always say he looked like as a joke. still has that on his page. Not trying to read too much into this but, just little remnants of our past still seem to linger on his page.I'm genuinely happy that he finally found the one he's been waiting for. Just wish he didn't break my heart while in the process. We've broken up so many times and he would always come back. Maybe he was just confused about what he wanted . Obviously that's the case because he could never even bring himself to proposing to me, funny we were looking at engagement rings, talking about getting married, on the Saturday and on Monday he ended things again

At this point don't even think he had BPD , just think I wasn't the one for him. Anyway me seeing him this happy with his new fiance means that he has moved on and now it's time for me to do the same. In some ways his happiness is closure I guess.

[once removed]

hey stacma04 

how are you feeling as a result of seeing these things?

[stacma04]

He's happy so I'm doing ok. I envy him to be quite honest. He got what he wanted. Wish it was that simple for me to just move on as well

[Dutched]

Stacma04

Please try to focus on yourself,  not  ‘he’s happy so i’m doing ok’… agreed? 

Reading your story a lot happened, kicking you out of the house, breaking up just before holidays, etc.

That pattern won’t vanish all of a sudden, even BPD or not! Of course every r/s is different, of course his new partners reacts different (or is willing to endure even more…)   

What I am trying to say is that the same pattern will show up again! He/they are in a honeymoon love, all is perfect, perfect enough to marry, perfect to show off, perfect enough to be Disney happy… But once the ‘bond’ is sealed…

You endured and accepted a lot and went through a turbulent break up leaving you emotional exhausted!

So really there is nothing wrong IMHO to be envy, just keep your eyes open and you’ll see. 

[stacma04]

Dutched Thank You, You've really lifted my spirits. I will take your advice and focus on me. Kind Regards

[Dutched]

Dutched Thank You, You've really lifted my spirits. I will take your advice and focus on me. Kind Regards

You're welcome!

It will get better in time