Unheard

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I've realized that I feel unheard, which feeds into my self esteem.   In conversations it feels like people I care about walk all over me as I'm talking, or aren't interested in what I have to say based on how they cut the conversation short.   I feel like I'm simply talking in a vacuum and it makes me feel alone in a room full of people.   Anyone else ever feel this way?   

[mssalty]

I've realized that I feel unheard, which feeds into my self esteem.   In conversations it feels like people I care about walk all over me as I'm talking, or aren't interested in what I have to say based on how they cut the conversation short.   I feel like I'm simply talking in a vacuum and it makes me feel alone in a room full of people.   Anyone else ever feel this way?   

[boatman]

I'm sorry you feel that way, and yes I feel that way as well, quite often in fact. So often that I sometimes avoid talking with people in order to avoid feeling that way. I think that the art of conversation is dying in large part due to modern technology. Text messaging and social media do not foster healthy reciprocal communication between people. I don't think there's a way to fix it on a large scale, so I try to remind myself that the "dead air" that you describe is not a reflection of my self worth but rather the result of social dysfunction.

[Lifewriter16]

Yes, mssalty, I have felt unheard. In my FOO we lived by the rule that children should be seen but not heard. I remember sitting at the dinner table one time when we had visitors debating when I would be considered old enough to join in with the conversation. There are times when I almost feel invisible. The isolation you describe is terrible.

Would you like to tell us more of your experience with this? When and with whom does this happen? How do you feel at the time? When was the first time you felt like this? Is this a pattern from your FOO?

Love

Lifewriter