It's not pathetic... .it is a drug... .you are completely on the right page.
Is there anyway you can get a restraining order so that you can have the legal freedom of no contact while maintaining some sort of court order so that he can see your daughter? Might have to have a family friend make the trade at a police station.
It sounds like you very seriously need the emotional break from him... .and this is hard when you can be attached psychologically. NC will give you that space you need to make the detachment.
I read (listened to) a helpful book called "getting past your breakup" by susan elliott, and it has helped me a lot. It helped me stay NC, it has also helped me realize that all of these feelings of guilt, and grieving, and ruminating are all normal and part of the healing process. I used to think that the ruminating was a negative... .but the book made me realize it is actually a positive and is actually part of the grieving process. So now I lean into the grieving, label it for what it is, cry if I need to, and take some more time for myself. And slowly, its working.
I strongly recommend that if you want out and away from the crazy... .that you go NC. That you avoid the places you will find him, and that you concentrate on keeping yourself safe and concentrate on doing the things you want to do... .knowing that him and his crazy is not what you want to do.
One of the things that has helped keep me to this, besides an actual court restraining order, was coming absolutely clean with my parents about what I have been thru. They hold me accountable like no one else. My friends just "want me to be happy"... .the friends I have left anyway.
I feel like I seriously need match.com to just find female friends again.
.
Fill your diary with friends and family and new activities and reclaim the old activities for yourself. After 3 weeks of NC for me, I am already feeling much, much better.
There will be days you hurt... .intense agonizing hurt. Just cry and follow your emotions on those days... .its all part of detaching. I think you'll see an upward trend, but it doesn't just all disappear. There are times it will still hurt deep deep down to your core. When you think of the good times, force yourself to remember the bad times... .coming here and reading about the crazy things people go thru is a good reminder of what i left behind: crazy.
Much love... .love yourself.
I don't know if to get a restraining order as he hasn't done anything to physically hurt me? I don't know how it all works and its not him that contacts its me because i'm weak, he always respects when i go NC but then i want him to see our daughter more so we go back to contact but i feel i need the NC so i can move on like he has. I know its me thats the one with the problems.
I will deffo check out that book sounds helpful and am into reading at the moment
I told him i felt really hurt by the comment he made tonight and said that i wasn't having a go his response, ''i know sorry i didnt mean it like that just meant we both hurt eachother sorry anyways''
I've just joined a site called meetup, i was only told today about it by a friend and its groups in your local area to meet new friends, non of this dating site rubbish
! but i would deffo check out that
I've cancelled all my dating websites to many weirdos.
I'm sitting here now questioning weather i abused him? I said hurtful things, like he has, done a cazy things., like he has because he hurt me but would it go as far as calling it abuse? I keeps trying to own that he tried for three years its like well i did aswell, we both did.
Thank you for your reply muchly appreciated
x
