I feel bad but I had to do this to my EXWBPD

[toddinrochester]

I have realized a few things over the past month about my ex. She absolutely is BPD and I most definitely will always think about her. I did something kind of horrible but also what I felt had to be done, although I am in a depression right now like no other time. There is no chance for a recycle and zero chance for her to hurt me again. I have burned the bridge over the moat with this.

I purposely attacked her on a dating site. I actually was incredibly tough on her and I really went as hard as I could to hurt her. I went so deep in my insults that someone that would normally not respond out of anger wrote the most hateful and succinct email back. I was both impressed and amazed at how she systematically tore me apart. It was flawless. Some of it was not true and it was her rumination kicking in but for the most part it was this glorious hate filled piece.

At the very end of it I realized that I had accomplished what I set out for. She hated me and that she didn't want to hear from me again. I felt a victory and a sadness. I have had no way of completely detaching from her and I have been working on it. I know she is the worst thing for me and so incredibly toxic in my life, but we all know that does not matter.

Today I feel happy and sad as it is not my nature to attack someone like this or go after them in general. But I knew my life would never be the same if I did not cut this off and in a way that I could not control. She controls it now and she will never talk to me again and there is zero chance of reconciliation. I have effectively made her hate me. What a sickness this is for everyone involved that I needed to do this. This will be better for me in the long run and cuts out the chance of ever reaching out to her again.  

[Kelli Cornett]

"I was both impressed and amazed at how she systematically tore me apart. It was flawless"

What does that mean?

[toddinrochester]

I dated a quiet BPD. Anger and everything associated with normal BPD is lacking. She never has outbursts. She is incredibly smart and it was a pretty hard email but I was incredibly hard hitting in mine.

[toddinrochester]

And flawless in how she makes the normal excuses for the behavior and how I must have it all wrong and she is not like that. She is very BPD and will be the rest of her life. I had to do something drastic because if no contact is left to me I will be talking to her again.

[Schermarhorn]

I do not think there is anyway you can "burn bridges" so to speak.

When my ex and I broke up, I was upset and called her out on a lot of things. Later she contacted me back saying I said something absolutely horrible. I do not remember saying that, but she believed I had said it. Regardless, she still contacted me back after this.

From what I heard, it is best just to not be emotionally invested when she tries to contact you. Eventually she will get bored and move on.

[toddinrochester]

I think that it was an ugly enough exchange that she will never contact me. I put it all out there. She has never once contacted me since the breakup. I have done it and then we would loosely talk and I would start to get hung up. I have blocked her on social media but she created a second account to stalk my profile. I have now set the entire thing to private. She won't contact me and if this didn't happen I would be so tempted to reach out to her. I want nothing more than to forget this experience ever happened.

[butterfly15]

I think that it was an ugly enough exchange that she will never contact me. I put it all out there. She has never once contacted me since the breakup.

I did something similar... .Well via text. I set up to make him reveal the truths behind a lot of things including his new online dating profile! Things got very ugly. I said really hurtful things. He didn't hold back much either. Neither of us have contacted each other in 3 weeks. I am sad. I miss the attachment- not the treatment he heavily displayed the last few weeks leading up to this. It was a 2 year r/s. So many feelings.

[toddinrochester]

I really hope this was enough. I am sick and don't want to ever reach out to her. I am confident this is over and I am not sad. I had go this route. I could not stop myself from wanting to talk to her and with it closed on her side I almost feel a sense of

relief. I have blocked her on everything and getting a new phone number on Monday. I am that serious about never talking to her again. I have so much going on in my life that she only adds to my stress.

[butterfly15]

I really hope this was enough. I am sick and don't want to ever reach out to her. I am confident this is over and I am not sad. I had go this route. I could not stop myself from wanting to talk to her and with it closed on her side I almost feel a sense of

relief. I have blocked her on everything and getting a new phone number on Monday. I am that serious about never talking to her again. I have so much going on in my life that she only adds to my stress.

i think in time I will see this. He had me under his spell

[toddinrochester]

I hope you will also. It really has come down to my peace of mind and my failing health. Mental and physical health are so connected. I don't want her knowing what's going on with me health wise and I know she lies compulsively and is the biggest fake and phony person I know. I just don't need that in my life. What ever is going on in your life, you don't need this stress either. I wish you well.

[shatra]

Todd wrote

I think that it was an ugly enough exchange that she will never contact me. I put it all out there. She has never once contacted me since the breakup. I have done it and then we would loosely talk and I would start to get hung up. I have blocked her on social media but she created a second account to stalk my profile.

-----How do you know she was stalking your profile? (facebook usually denies that it is possible to know this)

-----What will you do in case she contacts you?

[toddinrochester]

She referenced posts and admitted it. The only way she will be able to contact me would be in person and she is too much of a coward for that. I am pretty safe now. Well, as far as I can be. The hardest and best thing I have done.

[toddinrochester]

Phone number has been changed and I feel so relieved! I have blocked any way she could ever contact me again!