Daughterinlaw is controlling my son

[grandmothernow]

My son is 27 he has epilepsy, his seizures are brought on by stress and lack of sleep. His wife of 3 months is 24. Since he met her 1 1/2 years ago, he has lost too much weight, has had more seizures and when I ask him what he needs its all about her.  She cuts herself with razors.  She will not take any meds, she spends every penny on the best of whatever she wants. She knows sleep deprivation induces his seizures and she wakes him up saying sh e is in episode or wants to know who he dated 3 years ago. Her mother left town because she was afraid of her.  She beat my son and he wouldnt stop her.  Black eye horrible bruises. Today she asked if she could babysit my young grandson.  Absolutely not.   I am at my breaking point. Both lost their jobs.  I pay for it all.   I believe my son will die from her.  I am sick of walking on eggshells.  I get blamed for setting her off. His friends are gone. She is changing him. His mental and physical health are at risk.  What can I do?  I am retired and lost my husband to brain cancer.  I believe she needs to be committed.  They want me to pay for therapy or a ace for her to go at the cost of 32thousand dollars.  I hav e tried to open my heart but her responses to me is only about her.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lalasalad]

Oh my goodness. I'm really sorry this is happening to your son. I can only imagine how hard it must be to see your baby being treated this way. I would personally call the police and report domestic violence on her part. Have you asked your son why he stays? Maybe if you really try to understand and be there for him, he'd tell you what's really going on with that and listen when you tell him to leave.

[Kwamina]

Hi grandmothernow

There is a lot going on in your life. I am very sorry you lost your husband.

The situation with your daughter in law seems to be getting out of hand. You mention the two of them having lost their jobs and you paying for everything. What is there living situation, do they live with you too or have their own house?

Your son has his health issues which need to be managed properly. It is very unfortunate that his wife is causing him so much stress. He met her 1 1/2 years ago, how was her behavior back then? At what point did you start to realize something was wrong here?

Do you perhaps feel that your son goes along with her and doesn't want to stand up to her out of a sense of fear, obligation and/or guilt?

I am glad you are reaching out for support here since you are really dealing with a difficult situation. I encourage you to keep on posting and hope to read more of your story later