My friend who is married to a uBPDh for over 20 yrs. fled to a friend's house 3 weeks ago. H immediately served her with divorce papers which he apparently had ready to go, including unreasonable demands... .
She was just informed by a neighbor that H has been selling their household belongings, and has been doing it for a while, they have seen people come and buy. She checked on craigslist and saw several of their items for sale, such as her rocking chair, and the kitchen table. She can tell from the background of the photos that the couch and bed are gone. No idea what else has transpired.
A general concept in most if not all divorce courts is that once a case is filed then no marital assets should be sold or disposed of without agreement. However, that's the law or process on paper. The reality is different. Things like this happen.
If H sold some things before he filed, she may have ethical claims to contest his selling but I'm not sure of her legal basis, that's for the lawyer to determine.
Be aware the proceeds from these sales will almost surely promptly disappear, squirreled away, hidden or squandered.
First, her lawyer should notify his lawyer that this should cease immediately and any sold items should be retrieved. (Unlikely to happen but ought to be included. After all, some may have emotional value far more than the financial value.)
Second, she needs to document as much of his selling as possible. Snapshots or printouts of all items he is selling, especially any items that would be considered marital property or that she or the children were the typical users. Ignore, for example, if he's selling his shirts, pants, shoes, underwear, etc, since those would be considered his personal items.
If she has any photos of the house contents before separation, then those could be used to document what had been there at the time.
Third, be prepared to present this in court to make sure the judge also tells him to stop any such selling.
Fourth, be prepared to add these items to the list of items of marital property. Possibly he sold these far below fair values so don't accept his low valuations. Another however... .often by the time the spouses get to the stage of splitting financial assets and debts, a lot gets lumped together or ignored in the rush to wrap up and finalize the divorce. Not fair but that can happen. Be aware and beware.
