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Hello, I am new to this and not sure where to start. My Daughter who is 25 has finally been diagnosed with emotional borderline personality disorder(BPD) in the last year. She is on medication and seems more settled for the first 9 mths, holding down a job and a boyfriend. She has had a lot of counselling in the past and a course of CBT but in the last 3 months she has become increasingly unstable, almost  like a Jakell and Hyde. The Police have been involved with a lot of her erratic behaviour. She has tried to commit suicide twice but really a cry for help. I am scared that if this behaviour escalates she will succeed in doing this without really wanting too.

[bench]

Hello, I am new to this and not sure where to start. My Daughter who is 25 has finally been diagnosed with emotional borderline personality disorder(BPD) in the last year. She is on medication and seems more settled for the first 9 mths, holding down a job and a boyfriend. She has had a lot of counselling in the past and a course of CBT but in the last 3 months she has become increasingly unstable, almost  like a Jakell and Hyde. The Police have been involved with a lot of her erratic behaviour. She has tried to commit suicide twice but really a cry for help. I am scared that if this behaviour escalates she will succeed in doing this without really wanting too.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi bench and welcome to bpdfamily

It is very unfortunate what is going on with your daughter. The situation you describe does sound quite concerning so I understand why you say you are scared.

Now that your daughter has been officially diagnosed, you at least do know what you are dealing with. She is on medication and has also had counseling and a course of CBT in the past. When exactly did she get the counseling and CBT, was this before or after her BPD diagnosis? Did she get any targeted therapy for her BPD after she got diagnosed?

It's heartbreaking to see your own child trying to commit suicide. What happened after these attempts? Was she perhaps hospitalized and/or did she get targeted treatment for her suicidal ideation?

Take care

[bench]

The answers to your questions are: she had CBT about 9 mths ago after her diagnosis. Her first attempt of suicide was before her diagnosis and she was taken to Hospital and came back to live with us and attended a day hospital and had weekly visits from a CMH Nurse. This all helped for a while but she has started self harming and alcohol abuse on a regular basis. I am trying everything but so worried i will say the wrong thing and escalate her anger. She frequently says we are better off without her. :'(

[Kwamina]

Hi again bench

Thanks for answering my questions. Your daughter's behavior is quite concerning indeed.

Did anything happen three months ago that might have triggered your daughter?

What does your daughter say about her self harming and alcohol abuse? How does she explain her behavior?

It isn't easy hearing your own daughter say things like you would be better off without her. To help you communicate with her, I encourage you to take a look at the tools and lessons in the right-hand side margin of this board.

[bench]

Sorry I havnt been back but we have just spent the weekend in A&E with my Daughter, she collapsed at a barbeque and was rushed to Hospital. The mental health team think that she shut down mentally and collapsed. We are now in crisis management and awaiting to see the team, she did not want to be admitted, so back with me. She says the emotional feelings are so over whelming that she drinks to numb them. She had attempted an overdose on the previous Wednesday but didn't need to be hospitilized. I just don't know where to turn because when she see's the psychiatric team she is fully in control and comes over so well, composed and very articulate and has an insite into her condition.

[Slipping]

Hi Bench,

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you're dealing with.  My uBPDd29 has many of the same problems and behaviors that you're seeing with your daughter.  It frequently seems like more than we can handle. I'm so glad that you're here for support.

I want to respond to your comment about your daughter's appearing to be fully in control when she's with the psychiatric team.  My daughter does this too. It makes me feel so helpless b/c it feels like she's throwing away her opportunity, and then turns to me for help just as soon as we leave the doctor's office.  And as I tell her, I'm not the professional!

Are you able to see the psychiatric team with her, or does she exclude you?  On one of the visits that I was allowed to attend with my daughter, I told the doctor about this.  I tried not to make any judgements about her behavior, but described how she would rage at me all the way to the visit and how she would explode once we were back in the car after the visit.  I told him that she would be visibly angry afterwards b/c "no one is helping me."  He seemed shocked and turned to her and asked her if that was true.  I know this sounds so simple, but my daughter can upset me to the point where I can't even think to do the most obvious thing, so I thought I would post this in case it is of some help to you.

Many hugs 

[bench]

Thank you Slipping for your response. I am sorry you are going through similar problems. I do go in at the end of a consultation to see and talk to the Psychiatric team but really I would love to talk to them without her being there as I am sure they would get a different version from me, compared to what she is saying? They don't see her out of control as I do. It is so frustrating to see her try to get better but then slip back again, she says it is too hard to keep going but seems to accept the help that is there but is she just going through the motions? I want to scream at times!

:'(

[Kwamina]

Hi bench,

This really is a very difficult situation with your daughter. How is she doing now? Is she still in hospital?

For the doctors to formulate an effective treatment plan, I too think it's important that they know all the facts and all sides of the story. Have you been able to talk to her psychiatric team privately and share your concerns with them?

Take care