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Dragon72
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« on: April 26, 2016, 04:48:20 PM » |
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Sorry, I just need to get this off my chest.
Companionship: She does not spend any time alone with me and leaves me on my own every evening. She goes to bed with our son (2 years old) at 7.30pm. When we are in the house together, she goes off and reads in our son’s room with the door closed or finds some housework to do. I feel abandoned. I can’t remember the last time we chatted together.
When I have a different opinion to hers – particularly regarding our son (2 years old) – she either ignores it and just does it her way, or gets so angry I have to back down. Taking him to the pediatrician, continuing to feed him milk from a baby’s bottle at night, not having him sleep in his own bed, not letting him play outside if there’s wind or if it’s cool/cold outside – these are examples of where my opinion is overruled.
Emotional support: Whenever I say I have a problem, she focuses on why I am inadequate and must improve. All I really want is empathy and support. When I tell her about my successes, she finds areas where I need to improve, instead of congratulating me for my achievements. Recently I came 2nd in a 5K I had been training for weeks to compete in. I was over the moon. All she said was I need to train harder so I can give the winner’s prize to her next time. This is demoralizing.
I work 50+ hour weeks and I feel underappreciated for it. She does not have a job and says she wants to pay for someone to do the housework in our small 2 bedroom house because she can’t cope – even though our son is in school 4 hours every weekday.
Treating me like a child: She even tells me how I should ask for my hair to be cut. Can’t I be allowed to make even that decision? Gets upset if I do things without asking her permission first – like have a drink with my coworkers at the annual staff party, go for a run with a coworker. Whenever I am at home, I feel like I am being given a series of tasks: cook breakfast, wash the floors, go to the market to do the weekly shop, vacuum the car, hang up the clothes washing, take down the clothes, drive to the gas station to fill her tank, bathe our son. These are all jobs I am happy to do, but I resent being ordered around.
Taking decisions without consulting me: She manipulated me emotionally into giving up all the money for her to manage in piles of cash in a secret location in the house. She is already setting aside money for things she wants, but that I have not agreed – such as a new car, holiday to visit her friend in another country, a new floor for her house which lies empty and unoccupied. She makes decisions, then changes them, then back again – without wanting to discuss them.
I spend almost nothing on myself. I have had no new clothes for 6 months, I use a defective phone that doesn’t have any credit, so I can’t make calls from the street. I have no social life. My only treat is a jumbo sandwich that I buy once a week when I go to give a private lesson for extra cash for the family.
Sex: It only happens when she wants it and it happens fewer than 10 times a year. Only recently has she even allowed me to touch her vagina with anything other than my penis. Now she has started to allow me to give her oral sex – but she makes me feel like she’s only letting me do it because I like it (and not her). She says it’s dirty. She complains that it “tickles”. She won’t have me kiss her after I have been down on her. She doesn’t like hard and/or fast sex. She doesn’t like it from behind. She hasn’t given me a blow job since before we were married three years ago.
She’s extremely suspicious and jealous and sensitive. Does not like that I use Facebook, demands to see what I have written. Asks me who I am going to see if I say I am going to get something in the local store. Accuses me of checking other women out in the street/supermarket and gives me the silent treatment. Recently I took down the few items of clothes from the clothes line that were dry, leaving the ones that were wet. She took offense because she thought I had just taken down my clothes, leaving her clothes up there, when actually both the clothes I took down and those I left were a mix of both of ours.
All of the above has steadily demoralised me to the point where I feel defeated and cold and resentful towards her. She has accused me of being rude as a result and I snapped back saying that I find her behaviour rude too and that all these resentments have built up. She said she’s resentful too. Now she is not talking to me, to the point that she won’t even return a “Hi” or “Good night”.
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