When will anger and relief take the place of missing him?

[Herodias]

I'm surprised she could text. Mine had to use the phone from the rehab center and from

The VA's mental ward. I was always so happy to hear from mine- that's when we got along best. On the phone away from each other- except when he wanted to yell at me. I know what you mean, we could probably talk for months over the crap we put up with. For me I married for better or worse and I didn't want to date anymore. I did love the nice part of him.

[JerryRG]

I loved the rational fun side of my exgf and dreamed of being a happy family. She promised so much, nothing was real. They have childish dreams that never come true.

[londons]

you guys are funny.  nice to see us smile occasionally, isnt it?   yes, my guy went to rehab 5 different times throughout the 9 years.  i must say, the house was calm... .  i went to see him daily for the hour they give u to visit, and it was great, even if he was droolin' from the withdrawal meds.    one of his last e mails  a few weeks ago said something like  " im so proud of myself. i just celebrated 13 years of sobriety!"     well, maybe he hadnt had a drink in 13 years, but doesnt sobriety also include pills?      did he forget the 5 rehab gigs?    but of course i said back to him,    "congrats on the 13 years!"    instead of,   "you dont even have 6 months without using let alone 13 years".           ok, so on our wedding anniversary on April 7 this year (we had been living apart since january),    i  texted  him, "thinking of you today".     which, of course, i was.     he writes back,  "cute".       i say,    are u being sarcastic?  i meant that sincerely.     hes like,  oh, i didnt text that, sometimes my phone just types in a word.    and... .i... .believed... .him.      but in his mind he did  think i was being sarcastic, disrespectful and vicious saying  "thinking of u today"     he just couldnt get that someone would or could love him,  as he had 0 love for himself.    none.     that is the whole problem, he had no clue how much i adored him, and no clue i would have loved him forever.      when i was packing up his old boxes, i found a card from the girfriend before me.   she had written, "you always ask me if i love you, well i keep telling u i love u with all of my heart"      so she went thru the same thing, and this girl will too.

[JerryRG]

My exgf was so so proud of her victory over meth all the while popping opiates and promising me she was managing them correctly all while pregnant. Yep

And then blaming me for her addiction and well... .

Someone shoot me

When I think of these things,

These silly crazy things,

I feel like the child I once was.

Crying alone,

All alone,

Trying to understand things that had no answer.

Clinging to a childish belief that once I knew,

I could change,

The,

Insanity that surrounded ,

Me.

And when no answers were found,

I blamed my tiny heart for failing,

Once more,

To,

Stop,

The,

Pain,

Both theirs,

And,

My own.

[atomic popsicles]

Herodias, I think we were with the same person... .wow... .