trying to break free of the emotional attachment

[broken soul]

Discovering that my wife has BPD and how to deal with separating and divorce. I can no longer go through the pain of the relationship, but still feel love for her.  I have decided to end our marriage and dealing with so many emotions, but still feel strongly about ending this. We live separately now, but when I see her she seems "normal" and I remind myself of all the painful things said and done throughout our relationship. We tried to be friends and it had the same result of verbal abuse and I set a boundary and have minimal interactions with her now. I also will need to talk with her about divorce proceedings and I feel nervous about that.

[heartandwhole]

Hi broken soul,



I'm so sorry that your marriage has gotten to the point of divorce. That is so hard and emotionally draining. I'm glad you posted, because you came to the right place for support. Our members have been where you are, and will have great experience and advice to share with you. The site also has tons of tools to help make things better for you. You are definitely not alone, broken soul.

How long have you been married? Do you have children?

I can understand your nervousness about talking with your wife about divorce. I encourage you to check out our Family Law, Divorce, and Custody section, too. You can very find valuable advice there to help you through the divorce process.

Do you have friends and family whom you can lean on, broken soul? It's so important to surround yourself with a support system at this time.

Keep writing and tell us more of your story. We're here to support you.

heartandwhole

[gotbushels]

Hi broken soul:)

Dealing with separation and divorce is painful, yes. pwBPD also often seem "normal", I agree with that and it makes sense to me.

We live separately now, but when I see her she seems "normal" and I remind myself of all the painful things said and done throughout our relationship.

I did this too and it helped me. I feel it helped me to approach my own situation with a broader view of what I can do for both my relationship and I. To have an undue focus on only the "ups" wasn't helpful to me.

I look forward to hearing more of your story. I hope you have a restful weekend.