At the courthouse waiting

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'm a tad nervous and the 2 pieces of cake I had at our AA meeting just now did not help.

I'm here to speak for my son, he's 2 and cannot make these difficult choices for himself. All he wants and needs is a stable home so he can thrive and grow up to be his very best. He deserves nothing less and he will be safe and secure under my care.

I have 3 children already and my experience and good judgement will be both benificial and nessesary in my son's development for many years to come.

I beg the court to grant me full custody until such time as my son's mother can get the help she needs with her many physical difficulties and instability of mood.

I have the text from her from a week ago stating her intention to give our son to DSS, proving she does not or will not be responsible for his constant care.

I speak for my son when I say, give him a stable home, a warm environment and the loving care he needs to grow up healthy, physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Give him to me.

Thank you for hearing me and my voice in this important matter

[JerryRG]

I'm a tad nervous and the 2 pieces of cake I had at our AA meeting just now did not help.

I'm here to speak for my son, he's 2 and cannot make these difficult choices for himself. All he wants and needs is a stable home so he can thrive and grow up to be his very best. He deserves nothing less and he will be safe and secure under my care.

I have 3 children already and my experience and good judgement will be both benificial and nessesary in my son's development for many years to come.

I beg the court to grant me full custody until such time as my son's mother can get the help she needs with her many physical difficulties and instability of mood.

I have the text from her from a week ago stating her intention to give our son to DSS, proving she does not or will not be responsible for his constant care.

I speak for my son when I say, give him a stable home, a warm environment and the loving care he needs to grow up healthy, physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Give him to me.

Thank you for hearing me and my voice in this important matter

[Tobiasfunke]

Good luck. No matter the outcome of this never stop fighting for you boy. Never give up.

[Dhand77]

Good lucky, Jerry!

[bunny4523]

Keep us posted.  Your in my thoughts and prayers!

[JerryRG]

Well going into court without a lawyer isn't wise, the judge knew the facts of the case but in order to issue the po he needed witnesses to the events, doctor in the ER, officers who responded. Subpoena them and go back and try again.

The judge was very understanding and kind and we joked a bit about my being unprepared.

I knew going in to not have expectations and this saved me from the grief I normally would have allowed myself to feel. The tools of AA and Alanon and my higher power are amazingly effective and save me a great deal of frustration.

Thanks everyone for your support, nothings changed except my understanding of what I need should I keep perusing the po.

Exgf text after court and tried to make me feel guilty and play the victim card but I've learned I'm not responsible for her feelings or choices.

[Herodias]

Well, it was bold of you to try... .I hope you can gather the evidence you need. Can you get a court appointed lawyer? I am a huge detective... .My lawyer said I sent her too much evidence, I paid for it too! Every email! If you do get a lawyer that is not court appointed, I would get one that takes on a case for one price. Mine is by the hour and this is awful! I am stuck with her until this other case is done... I am very frustrated. I am not going to respond to much of anything now. I just got the next court date. I am not asking anything. I hope you get the help you need and/or a lawyer that is helpful. They can get papers out of doctors and such that you may not be able to... .just a thought.

[JerryRG]

Thanks Blue

I will keep working to ensure my son's safety and I just realized something after his mother text me tonight.

She hasn't seen him in 9 days, I text her last Wed and again last Sat and she complaining I am keeping him away? She ended our text with "God bless you, Goodbye"

If she really missed our son that much wouldn't she ask to see him tonight or sometime soon?

Again I'm so naive I don't see the obveous unless someone else points it out. She has picked her bf over our son so maybe I don't have much of a fight on my hands after all.

I did learn today that her bf takes care of my son while when my son is with her she just sits in her apartment.

Very confusing

[Lilyroze]

Good job Jerry, at least you tried and are learning the process.

Cake is good.

If from US have you looked into Guardian ad litem if ever needed in custody hearing? How about Fathers rights groups, they might be able to help you with some info as well?

Read up on what your next steps are.

You are a good Dad, keep going for you and your son and keep to your boundaries.

[Herodias]

Does she usually say "God bless you" and "goodbye"?  How do you know what the bf does?

[JerryRG]

Thanks Lilyroze, I will check out those agencies

Thanks Blue, she hasn't text me all week until today after court and no she usually don't say that to me. Grandma told me about the bf, she's using him to take care of my son just like I did when I was with her. Oh well, she hasn't changed

[Herodias]

They don't change without years of therapy. Those words triggered me- it's like she is saying bless you for taking care of your child but it doesn't mean she doesn't like it- but knows it's right. The goodbye seems like a guilt comment- like she's not going to see you again. I wouldn't put too much into it, because that's what she wants you to do. It's when they want you to read their minds... .I can read it a little bit because I've had practice- but not always. I think she's telling you she wants you to do this, but she's not dealing with it well...

[JerryRG]

She is broken in spirit but she won't help herself and I can no longer help her either. I believe she knows she's not well and incapable of caring for our child. Thank you Blue, I always hoped to understand her but I couldn't. This text was an example, I wasn't keeping my son from her yet she blames me for doing just that. I've asked her before if I were with someone who was charged with assault would she be concerned and or check into legal action.

We argue because she refuses to keep our personal lives out of our  conversations after asking her dozens of times. Sending me pics of her bf with my son is not appropriate in my opinion.

She may not understand her need to try to control me? She seems to try to make me jealous but I don't care because she's not changed and still miserable as ever. After telling her we are not friends she hasn't been the same but again I simply don't care how she feels and after saying I raped her I don't understand how she thinks I feel after all I've done to help her.

These people are a strange brood

[Herodias]

They really are... .You know the reality. She does too, but her thoughts are all over the place. I think they don't totally understand what's appropriate and what's not. She may even think she is sharing her life with you by sending pictures, who knows! It's like mine asking me to be his babies aunt! Then getting mad because I told him that was too weird! It's like they are trying to make everyone happy, yet they are making no one happy- not even themselves. I bet she thinks you have changed since she met you... ? I think she thinks she is more equal to this guy. You are not having a struggle yet, but don't get confident. She will go after you for the boy just to hurt you... , be careful what you say and do. Trust me. I thought I had my case in the bag- not so much. Have a good night and don't worry for now. Just get the evidence you need. Oh and the rape charge and in my case abuse- they think we love them unconditionally like parents- I think they think we should just get over it! I was just thinking- she might be sending you pictures of the son with the bf to show you how well he is doing and then you scold her for doing so then she's mad... , because you shamed her. Makes some sense. You just have to detach mentally if you can- like she did.

[JerryRG]

They love to hurt people because they themselves are so wounded, that part I understand. She hurts me simply because she can.

Thanks Blue, healthy bounderies include a watchman sometimes so these sneaky fake snakes can't slither into our lives all over again

Thanks again and have a great night, you are most helpful even while dealing with your own BPD child.

[Herodias]

Thanks and good night.