I met her. She was all wrong for me, even as a close acquaintance. Something told me to open myself to new ideas; if I judge a book by his cover, I might be missing I good story to tell. I'd try anything once. Never with the intensions of hurting myself nor others. But I will never try learning new things. That's just what I am made of.
When we met, I was immediately judgmental of her. In my opinion, with out cause. I didn't know her. I didn't "NEED" to know her. But I needed to know there are people out in the world like her. "We the people" should know. How better way to learn but by experience. Otherwise we're just making assumptions based on other people's stories. In terms of this experience, I can say I lived & learned.
Inner turmoil... .
She just wanted to take a strong person like me and break her spirit.
She was confused and thought she really loved me
She's relocating again, but won't tell me bc she wants me to hurt
She's getting kicked out bc once again she failed to meet with her responsibilities
She came around me just to feel once again in control
She sat there and lied about "something(s)"
Why do I even care? Why does it now and then matter what tricks she's playing now
I can see she never loved me
I will hold on to the good memories until I feel like letting them go. They are mine to keep or throw away.
I now know that we did not share anything. I enjoyed moments while I was with her. We did not share anything.
Damn! kissing was fun
She is trying to appear happy. No! She is okay with her life right now. No! She has attached to someone new for malicious reasons.
She's full of emotions when she sees me. No! she just wants to know if I am (mentally and emotionally) where she left me.
Maybe she wants me to still be there for her (for favors)
No! She just doesn't know better than NOT to ask someone she has unfriended for favors.
Nah! She doesn't care if its okay or its not. If she thinks it'd be a nag, that's enough reason why she does it.
Nope, she just wants to know how she can use you. Or what purpose you'll serve if she keeps you around.
NOTHING ABOUT YOU MATTERS TO HER.
Nah! She's just lost in her head. You saw what you wanted to see when she was around you.
Never again let her in, neither physically or mentally.
Protect yourself and worry less about her feelings.
In time you will be okay.
NOTICE how not once did I say she misses me or still loves me, or still wants to honestly be my friend, OR in some way remain a part of my life. That belief died the day I looked in her eyes and noticed her being distant from what I imagined we shared. She couldn't even remember my birthday. That was the last straw.
Anyway, that's where I'm at. Where are you?
